Women, men and phones

If my fiancee calls me while I'm away, or vice versa, and she gets on rambling about how was day/week/weekend trip - and of course telling me how hers is/was - what the fuck are we supposed to talk about when I get home?

I don't mind the "Hi, I arrived here okay" phone call. And perhaps I call to say good night. But after that, I'll catch you up on the happenings when I/or you get back.

I'm not a fan of the phone conversation. But I'm not as bad as my father, who once said: "The telephone is for emergencies only! Everytime you pick up the receiver, it should automatically dial 9-1-1 - THAT'S IT!"
In short, he thought the phone should be used/run EXACTLY like the Bat Phone.

 

I have over 2,000 minutes rolled over. I guess you could say I'm not big on talking on the phone.

 

Funny story, SSM.

Pringle, nothing wrong with your aversion to the phone. But it sounds like your wife doesn't know about it, which means you gotta tell her. Women can't read minds.

I will say that if this is the first time you and her had spoken in a few days, common courtesy dictates you should have asked about her weekend. If she starts in on the play-by-play, you could have (gently) cut her off and asked to hear details in person.

 

Oh, no, no ... she knows. It's been covered. She seems to think that one day I'll suddenly change - plus, I think she believes that every situation is a worthy exception.

It's the same compulsion that causes her, I guess, to flip over to O'Reilly some nights and start cursing at the television like she's shocked that he didn't pick this evening to go lefty.

 

Um, can I borrow some of those minutes? ... I easily rack up 1,000 minutes on the cell each month.

Cadet - good advice ...
Pringle, you just gotta give your woman the low-down on your aversion to the phone.
Maybe you could have just said, "look honey, I cannot wait to hear about your weekend but let's do it when we're face-to-face?! and then, afterward, let's have hours of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder sex,' cool hun?"

 

Or how about "I'd love to hear about your trip. Over dinner at your favorite restaurant?"

 

Me: Hey, babe, just landed. If you leave for the airport now, I'll probably have my luggage and be outside waiting.
You: Cool. See you in a few minutes.
Me: Yup. Can't wait to tell you about the weekend.
You. Cool.
Me: <Click>
You: <Click>

I hate talking on the phone. Especially when we're going to be together in T-minus 20 minutes. What's the point? Share face-to-face. That's better.

 

With all due respect, that sounds like an unhealthy aversion to the phone when stating you don't like talking on it joins the pantheon of key things to get out of the way.

 

As long as you've been up front about it, and as long as there's really no worthy exception (say, she's been gone three weeks instead of one), then I can't really blame you. I hate it when women think they can change men. Or vice versa.

 

If you love someone, shouldn't it be because of their pros and cons? I never caught onto that either. If you want to change someone, that means you don't think they're good enough for you.

 

Naw, it's not that bad.

If, early on in things, they try to engage me in a lengthy phone conversation, there's going to be a lot of awkward pauses and "uh-huhs" on my end.

So, at the appropriate time, I say, "Hey, Mary, just one thing -- if I seem short on the phone, it's just because I'm not a big phone-talker, nothing personal."

The last person said, "Oh, that's OK. Actually, I don't like talking on the phone all that much, either. So don't worry about it."

And then our phone calls became, "Hi there. See you at 8 p.m. at the bar?" and "OK, see you then."

 

This is a mystery that has vexed mankind -- and certainly me -- since the beginning of time. And now that I'm 51, anybody who wants to start dating me or whatever would be crazy to go in with that idea.