Wizard of Oz Redux by SJ.com ... for IJAG

OK IJAG,

It all starts with a little naive girl and her dog, Toto, in rural Kansas. Some stuff happens when all of a sudden the weather turns ominous ...

Someone help me out here it's been years since I've seen it. (Feel free to adlib. IJAG's never seen it. She won't know the difference.)

 

This is far too intriguing to allow me to go to bed, as I should. Have to get up in 7 hours. I might have to check in in the morning.

Any SportsJournalists.commer to mention Brook is dead to me. Eternally. Not like in the jokey way. Try me if you dare. I have power...don't overlook that.

 

Steve Balboni slays the lion with no heart, Whitey Herzog.

The end.

 

postscript: everybody fucking dies

 

The scary next door neighbor tries to take Toto.

 

Oh, come on, Oz. If you meant that you would have.

Give us a little something ...

 

I ... just ... SERIOUSLY? You've never seen it? How is that possible? My wife had never seen Godfather when we met, which was ridiculous but on some level understandable, but how can you never have seen WOO accidentally or something? That's like not knowing who Ronald McDonald is, or never having eaten a Twinkie.

 

And just as Dave Gilmour starts singing "Breathe," everyone fires up the bong and starts breathing in the air.

 

Anyway, a tornado rips into town. Dorothy, her house, and her little dog, too, are carried away into a mysterious city of drunk, sodomizing dwarfs.

 

I've never eaten a Twinkie.

 

And the Yellow Brick Road is ACTUALLY a Yellow Bridge spanning fifteen miles at an altitude of 2,000 feet. Giants stand at each end turning cranks thus making the bridge twist and sway. Hang on for dear life. If you let go you will plummet into the chasm of frogs.

 

And LSS manages to combine my petrifying fear of bridges.