Wife and Kids question for all

Or adjust your expectations.

 

Great question and tough for me to respond to. I think we're all a little smarter with 20 years of hindsight. But let me share this:

I had a major-college beat for six years earlier this decade and really enjoyed it, for the most part. I had a lot of great times and great experiences. But for the last year or two, I could tell changes were coming. The suits started cutting out travel. Then I had to be in the office more and more. Then I got an editor who had no business working a major college beat and, of course, thought he was the smartest guy in the room. I started taking trips in one day that used to include overnight stays.

Finally, they pulled the plug. We know rely on another paper owned by our parent company to cover this beat. (I bet a lot of you can relate to that.) I was sent to cover high school sports in one of our suburban bureaus. And while I wasn't happy at the time, it's actually been a good thing. I have to cover a game one night a week, but other than that, it's basically a 9-5 job. I go to the office, come home, and forget about it. I've enjoyed getting back to covering high schools again. I like my current boss a lot. And, I'm able to attend nearly all my son's games and activities. It's been a definite plus and I don't miss the old beat much anymore.

I would love to cover major-league baseball or a major college beat again, but wouldn't do it until my son is grown and not sure it will even happen with the state of the industry. I'm contemplating exit plans like everyone else.

And if it doesn't, so what? I've learned it isn't the end of the world. Five or 10 years ago, I'm sure I would have told you differently and I would have been wrong.

 

amen to that. perspective, people.

 

I got sick of the schedule and switched to news.

The good? Hours are much better.
The bad? It's not nearly as fun or exciting.

 

Elvis,

How do you do that? (Take your kid into the press box with you?) How exactly does that work? I mean, lots of us would love to do that -- enjoy the stories of Larry Fitzgerald attending all those practices with his dad, etc. But it would be tough for us to work up the balls to actually bring our kids along -- it's kind of ingrained in us that something like that might not be "professional." And, let's face it, many of us would probably resent it (and start mocking SportsJournalists.com threads about it) if we saw someone else bringing their kid into the press box.

So ... again. How does that work? A serious question. (Because while I'm slightly disapproving, I'm also immensely jealous.) How are you able to do that?

modify/edit: do you pay for her to get in? Do you ask for an extra pass? (Not trying to imply anything, seriously wondering how this works.)

 

I don't mind bringing my wife and kids to the amateur stuff I have to cover. One where there isn't a press box and I cover the game from the stands. And I pay for the wife and kids to come in.

 

I usually only bring the eldest princess (11) when I know the pressbox is large enough and I know the other SID. For example, last weekend I hit the road and the pressbox is one of those long and narrow ones. Big enough to accomodate assistant coaches, radio, newspaper, stats, PA and clock operator, but you put one extra person in there and the damn thing would probably collapse. The princess didn't come along and only would have if I had known somebody could hang out with her in the stands.

Next weekend I'm going to a stadium with an enormous pressbox. Seperate suites for pretty much everyone. I know the SID at this other place, and he doesn't have a problem. I have told the princess when she's with me at these games, she cannot cheer, I don't want her gobbling food all game and if she needs to use the bathroom, go during play when there won't likely be anyone in there.

And like I said, she's old enough where she can help out. She runs stats to radio and whoever may want them, she can help spot and even help the SID with postgame interviews by holding a tape recorder while I do interviews.

Just to emphasize, this isn't major college I'm covering. It's junior college.

 

Sounds like it's good for everybody, King. It wouldn't work in major college or pros obviously so you are probably lucky covering junior college. Hopefully she's not going to be bitten by the Journalism bug, however, and want to do this for a living. Bad lifestyle and no bright future in it any more.

 

I'm about to find out how to balance work with kids. On Dec. 29, my wife and I were asked by a friend to take in her two grandkids as foster kids. The catch: it's an emergency situation, and we get them on Tuesday for probably 6-9 months.
Things are tough as is. We don't have a writing staff besides myself and an intern. I've turned over most of the sports to him, plus I have a freelancer who helps out. I still do some sports but mainly concentrate on news. Most weeks I have a Monday night meeting, work late Tuesday (often from home), late night Wednesday for layout, Thursday at home and a game on Friday.
It's going to be a tough adjustment suddenly adding 4- and 6-year-old siblings, but we'll make it work.
I'm glad this is happening now and not earlier. My wife and I have been married four years now. In 2006 I was freelancing, traveling across the country covering a short-lived Sprint car racing series plus three other weekly freelance gigs. Then for 18 months I covered sports at a small daily, which meant covering games and/or in the office 5-6 nights a week, plus early mornings since it was a p.m. paper. Plus freelance work on top of that. No way that would have worked with kids.
I don't have much travel anymore, and I've accomplished dreams like covering the Indy 500 (my ultimate dream) so I've gotten that out of my system. I'll have to be really flexible with my work schedule, rearrange on the run and be extremely efficient with my time. But I look forward to it, and this has all made me realize I'm now in a position to be able to be a dad. My previous job? Not a chance.

 

Shit, Murph, good luck tomorrow. And good on you for stepping up.

As for the question at hand:
Nights and weekends were a major reason why I didn't become a sportswriter. I had the chance early on, and probably had more open doors in sports. But went with news. Now I'm a business writer, I cover a fascinating beat and I'm home to make dinner most nights. News side's not so bad; I even get to travel once in awhile.

 

Murph, first of all, good luck with the kids, and good job on being there for your friend.

Becoming a father, especially the first time, was a huge adjustment for me anyways in terms of balancing work and home, especially mentally. And I had nine months to prepare (or so I thought. I sure wasn't prepared). You have one day.

Remember, those kids are really going to need you and your wife. Certain things at work, you may just have to cut back on. Maybe for either the meeting or game, depending on the importance of the event, you can do a phone story instead of actually attending the event. Like for a meeting. If it's a meeting to pass the final budget, or to pass a major law, then attend. If it's a meeting just to pay some bills, skip it.

t sucks, but you've got to do what's best for those two kids. Especially in this emergency situation, they're going to need you more than ever.

 

Thanks for the words Baron, and thanks to STL as well.
I know there will be problems such as a lack of staffing, so I'm trying to get some interns from the local college ASAP. Other problem is my boss. He's a great guy, love working with him. This is actually our second time working together. But he doesn't see time with family as a priority at all. He's got four children, three in HS (one a senior). While they are doing something on the weekend, he would more rather come into the office and work, even if it's something that could easily wait until Monday. I used to be all work, all the time when I worked with him from 1999-2002. But I'm different now, trying to be home more with family and he doesn't seem to get that. We lay out on Wednesdays, last night I had to quickly proof pages, run home and say hi to the kids then run out to a meeting in a small town my boss says we (read: I) have to cover because they want some coverage. Boss told the mayor we would for sure be there, so I was left holding the proverbial bag. By the time the meeting was done it was three hours later, and long after the kids went to bed. I missed a morning Chamber breakfast to spend time with the kids, so that was fun.
Main thing I'll have to realize, at least for now, is that good is good enough. I have to realize readers who know the situation will cut me some slack for the most part; I need to cut myself some slack and not be a perfectionist. Some nights I won't be home, but I need to make sure it's a real legit reason for covering that game or meeting.