'Why one child is enough for me - and might be for you, too'

Are they teachers?

 

Lawyer and accountant... My aunt and uncle (71 and 75) handle day care duties, which I think it fucking awful... But whatever works...

 

Kind of shitty of your cousin to ask.

 

Agreed. My sister is almost as bad with my mom which just pisses me off... She only has two kids with another coming, but I get pissed when I see people using grandparents as full-time day care...

 

Especially with the jobs they have. I'm sure they can afford actual day care.

 

Yeah, but why do that when you can sponge off your parents and drive them into an early grave?

Yeah, as someone who has paid roughly $20K in day care expenses a year for the last seven years, I am not a fan of people taking advantage of the kindness of old people...

And I am very aware that $20K is very low compared to some places. A friend in DC who has three kids, spend over $50K on day care last year.

 

My sister does this, too. Will call up my mom and say oh, I need you here these days. (Sister lives five hours away.) My mom does it at the drop of a hat.

It pisses me off, but it's my mom's decision, not mine. She loves spending time with the nephews. (Spoiled brat twins, 10. Parents are NASA-employed rocket scientists.)

So while it may seem like taking advantage of to you, it's their decision to say no.

 

My wife and I entered our marriage with no intention of breeding. We did give thought to what will happen to us when we're older, but then we quit worrying. She's diabetic. I broke my back. We can't care for ourselves much less a kid. Plus, I expect we'll be dead before retirement age, which should be 75 in the future.

So, we have dogs. Maybe dogs will evolve to be super service animals. That would be cool.

 

I wanted two or three eventually, but after the first one it didn't seem like a good idea for three reasons:

1) They are expensive as heck
2) We waited a little while and my wife was getting a little older than ideal for trying
3) I never, ever wanted to feel like my second child was some sort of do-over to try to make up for my son's autism.

I think as long as people make the decision thoughtfully, they can't go wrong.

 

I couldn't get to the end of this story. A whole lot of whining trying to justify something that doesn't need to be justified in the first place. Have I missed something or is there some law or movement out there persecuting single-child parents?

I'll never take parenting advice from someone who refers to any parts of it as "crap." And I'm sure many, many parents have gotten more and more joy from their second and third kids that they'd have missed if they'd stopped at one.

I could care less how many kids people choose to have. But the author of the book from which this article was excerpted comes across as a very shallow, me-first person.

 

We've got two boys, (14 and soon to be 12). We were a bit older when we started (36 and 34). Nothing makes my wife and I smile more than seeing the two of them talk/play with each other. Of course nothing sets us off more than seeing them fight. They are damn expensive but we have no regrets. I would not have minded another or two but it was my wife's body that was shifting during pregnancy so that was entirely her decision.

My sister and BIL had my nephew then stopped. I thought she would have more but they never did. He's a great, kind-hearted, kid. IIRC, I did ask him once if he wanted a sibling and I think he said it would have been nice but nothing like being heartbroken. I've always respected their decision and did not question it. I've just figured they liked their lives as is.

What someone said earlier, I wholeheartedly agree, decisions regarding how many are truly personal.

 

My heart goes out for those people trying to have kids who can't, especially when you see all the nitwits who have no problem breeding.

We were scheduled for our fertility appointment and when we showed up we were already 2 months pregnant but had so many issues staying pregnant that we were afraid to be happy. We ended up being 2/5 on pregnancies so count ourselves pretty fortunate.

My sister in law and her husband have spent over 10K on treatments and are having no luck, just seems so unfair.