Why must men's room be so nasty?

You would have been my hero about 11 years ago.

 

I once had an overwhelming urge to shit on the way to a high school softball game I knew would not have a portable toilet. I had to pull into a godforesaken country mechanic's garage and ask them to use the toilet while I danced in little circles.

The toilet was in fact in the garage itself. It was surrounded by concrete blocks roughly 6 feet high and there was no door. There was shit all over the walls and probably an inch of piss on the floor. It was like the toilet in Trainspotting.

I had to shit so bad, that none of this bothered me until the last plop. Then I started panicking. Luckily there was three sheets of toilet paper. I did the best I could, but probably stank of shit at the game.

 

GREAT reference. I'm surprised I was able to use a bathroom or a shower after that flick.

I've got my own least favorite shithouse. There's a rest stop on I-684, right before the 84 on-ramp, in Putnam County. It was never a nice place to take a dump, but if you had to go, and you could stomach covering the entire seat in TP, it would do. Always had some entertaining graffiti, too.

But it's turned so bad I'd rather shit my pants than go there. I had to stop there a few weeks ago for ol' number one...not only was it completely disgusting, but the sinks were out of order. That skeeved me out. Had to drive another hour to my parents house with dirty filthy hands. Yuck.

Last week, I was driving to a friend's house and I had to take care of ol' number one again. You'd think the sinks would have been fixed and the shitters cleaned up. Nope. Still a rancid area of fecal filth with garbage bags covering the sinks. "Sinks out of order, sorry for any inconvenience." Any inconvenience? Cripes.

So don't shit at the rest stop right before the 84 on-ramp on I-684.

 

I'm always suspicious of restaurants where the cans are nasty.

I've been pretty lucky in terms of the places I have worked that the bathrooms were OK.

 

Wow. Nicely played.

 

Took a leak in a press box bathroom tonight.

There were french fries in the urinal.

Why were there french fries in the urinal?

What motivates man, God's greatest creation, to deposit fried potatoes in le pissoiur?

I'm really afraid that one day I'll find myself sitting at a bar someplace next to a starving Somalian who explains to me how famine has racked his homeland for generations. And I'll have to say "Really? I've pissed on fries."

Seriously...it's 1:15 a.m., and all I want to know is why there were french fries in the urinal.

 

Kaylee - You been drinking?

 

Threads such as this make me appreciate Little America. The cleanest, and perhaps the nicest, bathrooms I have ever seen on a U.S. interstate highway.

And Wisconsin and Washington rest areas get high grades in my book, as well.

 

There is one near Ellensburg which is amazing.

 

I once found a pair of soiled drawers in the bathroom at my current newspaper.

 

I've (you could say sadly) been laughing at these stories. I refuse to touch handles of toilets, so if there's a convenient towel dispenser, I rip off a small piece before business. Otherwise, it gets left if I can't kick it.

And what about the abomination of trough-style urination? It really grinds my gears...

 

I would leave a sign in the restroom at your office about making sure you clean up after yourself, flush again if necessary, etc.
Hope none of you were at the Steelers game on Sunday night....

Heinz Field's restrooms drop the ball
Monday, August 27, 2007
By Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Numerous spectators at last night's Steelers game who had filled up with food and drink were prohibited from using some restrooms at Heinz Field because of apparent low water pressure.

The problem started sometime during the first quarter of the Steelers-Philadelphia Eagles game.

Some fans were turned away by stadium staff at the entrance to restrooms while others were told they could use some bathrooms without flushing.

Heinz Field stadium director Jimmie Sacco told KDKA-TV last night that the water pressure dropped from a city main line.

Christine Gaughan, a fan from Brentwood, said the toilets on an upper level wouldn't flush and the water fountains weren't working.

She said she then went to the first level and again there was no pressure.

The problem occurred in the men's restrooms as well.

Mark Currie, of Hopewell, who also attended the game, said the men's restroom he used had trouble with the water pressure.

He said the urinals were open but the stalls were closed.

It was unclear how many bathrooms were affected.

Officials said the football players were able to shower at the end of the game.