'Why I'm raising my son to be a nerd'

I don't have to push my son to be a nerd. Genetics already cast him in that direction.

Seriously, I'd love for him to be great in school and absolutely average at sports. I want him to be good enough that he can enjoy it, get exercise and not feel bad about his performance, but I don't really care for him to be so good that it takes his focus from other things or that we start to feel the need for him to be on these all-star and travel teams, etc etc.

Right now he's tried baseball and hockey and he pretty much sucks, so I'll just be happy if he can enjoy playing enough to keep playing, for the exercise, camarederie, etc.

 

Sounds like a super villain's origin.

 

Or as in my case, why neither/nor.

People should be happy if they are one or the other.

 

This thread is idiotic. The average childhood is all about indulging interests. That's basically a kid's job. He or she has plenty of time to devote to any number of them. The pressure comes when children are expected to "choose." Save that shit for adulthood. Let kids be kids. When I was younger, I loved to play sports, organized and otherwise. I also loved to read and I prided myself on getting good grades. I even fell in love with music ( there are other positive pursuits outside sports and academics). Some of those interests were directly influenced by my parents, but others came as a result of being given the relative freedom to discover what I did or did not like. If there's one thing I want my son to kick ass at during his childhood, it's being a kid.

 

I disagree, we as a society need to rededicate ourselves to making academics a collective priority and send that message loud and clear. In the aftermath of Brown v. Bd. of Education and the civil rights movement, this country awakened to making education accessible to all and that led to our societal advancements in the 60's-present, but for the past 30 years we have shortchanged the kids and relegated academics behind sports. That's just wrong. We need to correct that.

 

Nothing idiotic about this thread. If we can't discuss parenting amongst this group, mostly made up of educated people of similar backgrounds and careers, where can we? Most people here understand the shitty hours we work in this business and it never hurts to let everyone know how they balance their role as a parent. I have gotten a few good ideas from this thread...and it is only in its third page.

 

Mandatory lessons on Brown v. Board of Education starting in kindergarten!

 

Sorry, Carlton, that makes no sense. Stick to political threads.

 

You're right that that was a better way to grow up, but I will be interested to see if you find it's possible to raise your child employing these ideas. For one thing, much of what we all did as kids involved independent play with other kids. So even if you are wholly committed to your idea of free time, you'll have a hard time finding others who feel the same way. Drive around your neighborhood and see how long it takes you to find a pickup baseball, basketball, football or soccer game. Even in organized sports, there are no rec leagues for early teens anymore, because everyone either plays club/travel ball or just drops the sport entirely. The same principle applies to music -- not a lot of garage bands these days because Mom and Dad no longer want to let their kids out of their sight for four hours to just "hang out" and do what kids do.

As for academics, most parents start "tracking" their kids by fifth grade at the latest; we had a big eruption at the school this year because the main fifth-grade math class being offered was only going to have the kids reaching calculus by senior year of high school. It's a different time, though; nowadays a bad freshman semester in H.S. -- hell, even one bad grade as a freshman -- can torpedo college admission hopes.

 

Kids are overprogrammed these days ... and my son goes out of his way to find other kids to play with. Problem is, there just aren't that many. So I end up being his primary playmate.

Kids need unstructured play. They need to make up their own rules in a backyard baseball game. They need to use their imaginations and be creative with each other. They need to have fun. Unfortunately, all sports are centered around getting Johnny a varsity spot or a college scholarship. Kids don't get the chance to play things for fun anymore, which is really unfortunate. Instead, everything that's done is high-pressure with some unrelated adult standing there guiding everything, and that's supposed to be necessary to get our kid ahead.

Tracking in 5th grade? What planet are we living on? Yes, there's "tracking" in elementary school, but it's basically confined to putting the smart kids in the advanced reading class and the kids who can barely read in the remedial one. No kid who takes "only" calculus in high school is going to be left behind. Honest. I've got two degrees and barely passed trigonometry in high school. Of course, I'm also not the CEO of a major corporation or a concert pianist ... I'm just a regular guy who has had a lot of great life experiences who works a pretty regular job who makes enough money to give my family a good existence, so I guess my parents failed me.

The parents who complain about calculus in fifth grade are products of the same society that thinks my wife and I are abusing our kid because we didn't put him in preschool when he was 3, and therefore are going to doom him to being "so far behind." It's not about being behind. It's about some helicopter parents trying to create a prodigy when they're still pooping their pants ... the same parents who come blaming *me* when their overworked slacker kid gets an F because he doesn't do his homework.

So far, we've let our son be a kid and set some pretty defined boundaries for him, but let him choose what he wants to do within those boundaries. He loves baseball, but I'm not trying to turn him into a Major Leaguer. If he wants me to pitch to him non-stop and I can do it, I'll throw my arm off. If he plays Little League and decides it's not for him, then so be it. If he makes his high school team, great. So far, he seems to be enjoying life. We'll see what happens. But I'm pretty convinced I won't ruin him because I'm not trying to turn him into Albert Einstein or Peyton Manning at age 4.

 

Well played!

 

Kids are overprogrammed these days. All of the organized sports that didn't start until you were 5 or 6, now start when they're 3.

It's fucking ridiculous.