Why I drink ... phone calls.

I once called a hitter a "most unlikely hero for his team" when he got a game-winning double in the bottom of the seventh with two out. It was late in teh season, and the kid had maybe two hits all year. Grandpa calls me up and bitches me up one side and down the other. I apologized to the kid, but he wasn't upset. He was kind of embarassed, and admitted that he just closed his eyes and swung, because he told himself he wasn't going to go down with the bat on his shoulders. Cool kid, and in time the grandfather proved to be a nice guy as well.

 

There's no better start to the day then to come into see the message light lit. You know there's rarely anything good to come of it.

One time I was on vacation for a week, so I said that on my voicemail greeting. When I got back, there was one message — some guy saying to his wife, "He says he's gone all week" and the wife saying, "Aw, shiiiiitttt." I have no idea what they wanted.

 

A great way to kill this "line of logic" with a parent is for you to ask to talk to the kid about it, especially if they are high-school age. That or make it a point that you will talk to the kid the next time you see them to "explain yourself." You'll be surprised how many parents back down and say don't worry about it...because you caught them in their lie. As long as you aren't attacking them back, just make it nonchalant and they will shit their pants because they know if you talk to the kid, the kid will get pissed at mom or dad for doing that.

 

I once did a feature about a team's offensive line playing well and did a big group interview with all the guys. Of the five starters I talked to, four of them got a quote in the paper because four of them said a word. The fifth kid's mom raised hell with just about every editor and our publisher the next morning over me "completely ignoring" her kid. I called to politely point out he was in the nice big feature photo that ran as the centerpiece and his name was mentioned two sentences into the story and several more times throughout, but he did not say a single word during the interview. She then told me I was guilty of allowing two of the more outgoing linemen of completely dominating the interview and knowing that I should have taken them aside to interview them one on one.

I sometimes think it might just be better to save some time and a headache by just telling everyone who calls, "Sorry, I'm an idiot, you're right. We're a terrible paper and I'm a terrible reporter and writer. I will take your advice to heart and act on it the next time the opportunity presents itself."

 

If only more bosses were like that.

 

"You always write about the linemen and never give any credit to the backs. They work hard too."

 

My goal that season was to cost the team's feature back a scholarship just in case his grades hadn't already done that.

 

I'm using this one spike...perfect way to deal with it.

 

God, if I could have a buck for every time that happens.

Back in the day....there were these:

The people who had this number in their 1970s phone book and get pissed because circulation can never be reached at this number.


My all-time favorite was the mom who called and told me her 9-year-old son threw a no-hitter last night in the Bushwacker Little League and he was sitting next to her and wondered if the press would like to interview him. I then asked her what the score was..."I think it was like 9-8."
I could see it clearly: 9-8 no-hitter, walks 17, team commits 12 errors.

"Give me his name and number and as soon as our little league correspondent gets here, I'll have him call."
Still waiting on that little league correspondent to show up - or for that matter to be hired.

Or...anyone who calls, cussed us out about this or that, insulted us then hung up without identity. Well, seems as though this came after caller id recorded the number. Noting the number, googling the number and then returning those calls, addressing them by name and having people studder all over their words was just grand.

 

Or the calls Saturday morning saying..."Just wanted to let you know we have a big Freshman football game this afternoon, and it would be nice if we could get some coverage."

even better when followed with something like "We'll expect to see something in Monday's paper."

lol...nothing like giving us enough notice...if we are even going to consider sub-varsity prep coverage which most of us do not.

 

I once had someone call me expecting that I would cover a swim team's banquet at 6:30 that night.

They called me at 5 p.m.

So I asked the caller how far in advance all the other people knew about the banquet.

"Oh, they've known about it for two weeks."

"Well, if you gave them two week's notice, I'm sort of troubled that you think I'm only worthy of 90 minutes' notice. And, see, since I knew nothing of a swim team banquet tonight, I made plans with my family to meet them in Wichita and spend the weekend. And I'm not changing that on 90 minutes notice for anyone."

Not that I would have went to the swim team's banquet. This is summer swimming we're talking about. There are no high-school programs in this area and anyone who's a serious athlete is playing Legion ball, going to basketball camps or going to 7-on-7 football camps. They're not swimming. I just said that to make my point.

 

That's pretty poor customer service, Rick. You are better than that! Look at it this way, would you do business with a plumber, contractor, or real estate agent who just said "Joe Blow" and let the voicemail beep follow? Of course not! It isn't professional. You are a professional so should get on it.

Someone Que the cheesy NBC music and graphics ..."The More You Know"