1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Why I despise Orlando columnist David Whitley

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Lucas Wiseman, Nov 15, 2007.

  1. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    Where does this put curling?
     
  2. friend of the friendless

    friend of the friendless Active Member

    Mr R,

    Curling is a survival sport ... it's how you survive a winter on the Prairies.

    YHS, etc
     
  3. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    The question really isn't wether or not Lucas should have David Whitley it's why does David Whitley clearly have it in for Lucas and why is he stalking him?
     
  4. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    Lucas, you'll be happy to know that not only is my nephew a high school bowler -- the only senior on a team trying to reclaim its rightful place as state champions after failing to win its third straight title last year -- but my 5-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter in January are forming their first league. Now that I know there is NCAA women's bowling, my paying-for-college strategy now includes having my daughter live at the alley so she can get a coveted bowling scholarship.
     
  5. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Never been a huge Whitley fan... Bianchi is 100X better...
     
  6. gingerbread

    gingerbread Well-Known Member

    Lucas,
    This thread title is a little over the top. If you knew Whitley, you'd know he's a great guy, one of the best in the business. Though if he's reading this, he's probably laughing at the thread and booking his trip to Wisconsin.
     
  7. Lucas Wiseman

    Lucas Wiseman Well-Known Member

    I work in PR, everything I do is a little over the top. :)
     
  8. Walter Burns

    Walter Burns Member

    My rule of thumb has always been that if you can drink beer while doing it, it's not a sport.
    The only exception in my eyes is softball.
    So golf? Not a sport. Bowling? Not a sport. Billiards? Not a sport. Drinking games? Despite the word games in its name, not a sport.
     
  9. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    I'm a huge Whitley fan, and he's also one of the best people I know.
     
  10. BillyT

    BillyT Active Member

    Lucas: I am impressed that you came up with 17 different names for all the comments you left.

    ;)

    Seriously, he got whacked in the comments.
     
  11. reformedhack

    reformedhack Well-Known Member

    What Monty said. I've also been fortunate enough to, at one time, have been his editor. The World Cup and the Olympics wouldn't have been the same without his wit and ability.
     
  12. Full of Shit

    Full of Shit Member

    Count me in Whitley's corner, too -- professionally and personally. A better hang-around-with guy you will not find.

    And here's my all-time favorite Whitley column:

    Orlando Sentinel (Orlando, Florida)

    January 27, 2006, Friday

    Tiger sure will be missed in Central Florida _ in name only

    BYLINE: By David Whitley

    SECTION: SPORTS

    ORLANDO, Fla. _ Thanks for the memories, Tiger.
    Like that karaoke night at the House of Blues, when you brought down the place with your rendition of "Feelings."

    Then there was the time you donated your skybox at the University of Central Florida football game to the Apopka Little League.

    And who could forget the tears of joy when you were named grand marshal of the Citrus Bowl parade?
    If only any of those things actually had happened, Wednesday's news might have been depressing. Alas, it appears Orlando's Tiger Woods is a goner.

    His $38 million check cleared, and Woods is officially the owner of some prime beachfront property on Jupiter Island. Expect movers to pack up his 10 Grand Slams and trophy wife any day now.

    If you are depressed over Tiger leaving, buck up. How can you miss what you never really had?

    I'll admit I got a little kick when people would visit, and I'd say, "Tiger lives just a couple of miles that way." But I have a rule when it comes to these things:

    It can't be considered a great civic loss if the citizen can't find downtown.

    Superstars like Tiger are understandably wary when they venture out. But Orlando is a pretty easy place for the rich and famous to live.

    Go in half the sandwich shops in town, and you'll see a snapshot of a smiling Shaquille O'Neal with his arm around the owner. Carrot Top hangs out with the Great Unwashed at Magic games. One of those N'Sync guys was just on the cover of a local shopper.

    Tiger is more famous than even Carrot Top, but he took his privacy verrry seriously. He lived behind the fortress walls of Isleworth. For all anyone knew, his caddie slid bowls of milk under his bedroom door until the boss felt like coming out.

    Tiger was our Bigfoot. You never knew whether the rumored sightings were true, or just somebody trying to get his name in the National Enquirer.

    "There was a guy who worked here named Charles who said he saw him up at the coffee bar one night," Briann Kerr said.

    He works in the deli at the Albertson's on Apopka-Vineland Road. It's the nearest grocery store to Tiger's house, and a darned nice one. Coffee bar, customer lounge, the aroma of rotisserie chicken in the air.

    You could just picture Tiger stopping his cart in the produce section and squeezing a grapefruit. Aren't you going to miss him?

    "I really wouldn't know," Kerr said.

    How could he? Tiger's greatest civic contribution the past 10 years was not adding to the congestion on I-4. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

    He moved here because it was a convenient base for travel, work and avoidance of state income taxes. By all reports, he was a good neighbor, kept his lawn neatly trimmed and didn't scrimp on candy at Halloween.

    It would have been nice if he'd treated Orlando as more than a place to keep his clubs warm until something better came along. But have you seen pictures of his new crib?

    He can see the sun rise over the Atlantic and set over the Intracoastal Waterway. There's room for his yacht, a couple of golf holes and a new 239-room mansion if he doesn't like the one currently there.

    Even Isleworth can't compete with that. All we can do is be happy Shaq still loves us, and hope Tiger remembers his Orlando pit stop with fondness.

    Thanks again for the memories, old pal.

    I'm sure if we think hard enough, we'll come up with one.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page