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Why do grandparents play favorites?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by kingcreole, May 7, 2012.

  1. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    Oh no, something might slightly disappoint someone's child. Do I hear helicopters?
     
  2. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    "Sweetie, your cousins live a lot closer to your grandparents than we do and thus have grown closer to them over the years. Also, they are the only grandparents they have in this country. You're very lucky to have two sets of grandparents that we can see several times a year. Your cousins aren't so fortunate."

    It ain't rocket science.
     
  3. kingcreole

    kingcreole Active Member

    Alas, as I pointed out, my in-laws don't see my kids much either. My parents probably see my kids more, and they live farther away than my in-laws do. And when we invite the in-laws, 90 percent of the time, there's an excuse. They're great people, don't get me wrong. Travelling two hours for their grandkids' soccer, baseball or cheer games? Not really a priority. For any of their grandkids. They don't really have "favorites."
     
  4. JRoyal

    JRoyal Well-Known Member

    Do you read the threads before posting, or just skim them?
     
  5. JRoyal

    JRoyal Well-Known Member

    God, you're clueless.
     
  6. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    "Don't they realize how selfish they are being by not doing what *I* want?"
     
  7. JRoyal

    JRoyal Well-Known Member

    This thread isn't about you, Rick, so fuck it. This is about king's kids and their relationship with their grandparents. I'm sorry I tried to relate and got it sidetracked any. I'll let my advice and my experience stand. So far, I'm pretty damn happy with how my kids have turned out, even with my concerns about their grandparents. I have no doubt king's kids will be fine either way. He seems like a dad who has a good head on his shoulders.
     
  8. kingcreole

    kingcreole Active Member

    So it's OK to say one thing, get a little girl's hopes up (Yay! Grandma and Grandpa are coming to watch me today!) and then turn around and not come in favor of the other grandkids?

    And I love the assumption that I'm a helicopter parent.
     
  9. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    Of course it's not okay.

    But a lot of not okay things happen to a kid in the course of a lifetime. Elevating a minor slight into something that absolutely must be addressed isn't my idea of teaching them to handle that.
     
  10. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    Cool. If you're happy, and I'm happy, then everybody's happy.
     
  11. Smash Williams

    Smash Williams Well-Known Member

    Actually, I bet your relatives had all sorts of spats but you just didn't notice them. It happens in every family, and kids are not nearly as affected by it as parents think they are. My family has all sorts of drama on both sides, but I was completely unaware of it until I hit mid teenage years and didn't get clued in on all of it until I was in college.

    Because of that, creole, I would advice you that, unless your kids bring it up, to let it go in terms of confrontation. Just like you can't force a kid to like any one relative they only see 2-3 times a year, you can't force the grandparents to have the same sort of relationships with your kids as they do with the kids who live very close to them.

    Honestly, if you're concerned, find a time where there will be no conflicts with the other grandkids and set up specific outings, or next time you're in town, ask them to babysit the kids while you and the mrs. go out for dinner. But this was apparently a situation where they have to choose, and especially in a situation where there's a commitment beyond being a grandparent (i.e., being a coach), that's not really fair to them either. Either way they choose, someone "loses" and is ticked off.
     
  12. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't assume to make any judgment on your parenting, king.

    But I'm betting that this situation bothers you a lot more than it bothers your child.
     
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