Why Am I Friends With This Guy?

So, I have a friend who lives about 45 minutes from me. He's in one city, I'm in another. We met in college. We have a lot in common. He stood in my wedding. I'm in his. But my God, he pisses me off.

Friday, we were to go to an MLB game together. We hadn't bought tickets, but made plans (i.e. my wife was picking up our daughter after work, I was leaving work early, things like that).

He bails at 3 p.m. in an email. Game time was 7 p.m.

About a month ago, he said he'd ride with me to New York to see a Mets game in August. We were going to meet up with another friend from college.

So, Sunday night, the other friend books the hotel. Today, the same friend who bailed on Friday's game bailed on NYC in an email - exactly a month before before we're to leave.

Shit like this pisses me off.

Anyone else have friends like this? How do you handle it? Am I just overreacting? Maybe, but man, don't make plans — especially ones that involve planning and money of this magnitude — if you aren't going to follow through.

Rant over.

Thanks.

 

The night before his wedding, email him and tell him you can't make it.

 

I went through something SOMEWHAT similar -- friend was coming to visit, I'd turned down other plans, said friend bailed two weeks out -- but it didn't cost me any money, so that's good.

Best I can offer is to always remember that. Get his money up front for any event. ALWAYS have a backup plan. Make sure he knows when he agrees to go, if he cancels, he will owe his percentage of anything.

 

That's awesome.

I'll email him a couple days before.

 

Make him do the reservations from now on so he's the one getting stuck with the bill if this stuff keeps happening.

 

He's just not that into you.

 

A friend of mine whom I went to high school with always does this stuff. When he'll be in the area - he lives six hours away now - he'll give me a call or send an e-mail and say, "What are you doing on this day? I'll be in town, let's catch a ballgame" or something of the sort.

I'll say sure, try to keep my options open, etc., but when the days get closer, that goes out the window. If he's even made the trip at all, he'll find some reason to cancel.

In short, I keep the date in the back of my mind when he asks, but practically, I just go about my business. And if I schedule something over that day and he's actually around, it doesn't hurt as much to cancel on him.

 

I have the same issue with a friend who lives near where I grew up. When I go home to visit my mom, I sometimes try to make plans with him, because I have fun hanging out with him and he's one of the few still single friends I have up there. More times than not, though, he totally flakes on me and either bails at the last minute or just stops returning my calls/emails when it comes to finalizing plans. The funny (?) thing about it is that he seems completely oblivious that he does it. The last time I saw him, he was bitterly complaining about another friend of his who bailed at the last minute and was going on about how rude it was. I just chuckled and didn't say anything.

 

Funny how you just posted this. I was going to post something similar.

My best friend from college came back east from the west coast on his furlough. We talk via cell and e-mail at least once a week. So he tells me in May that he's coming home the last two weeks of July, and to get as much time off as I can so we can catch a few ballgames and spend time at some clubs in Boston. Well he left this morning and I saw him for four hours in one day on his visit. That day I brought him on a radio show as a guest cohost with me and then we did lunch. At lunch I say so what games you want to go to? I can get Sox tickets, or tix to any of their minor league teams. He says I don't want to make plans. "I JUST WANT TO WING IT." So then he has this to do and that to do.

I took a full weeks worth of vaction and holiday days and had my sister rework her schedule so I didn't have to babysit my niece only to have him basically diss me. Those are days I can't get back now.

 

perfecto! ;D ;D ;D

 

Well Pete, as you can see from myself and a few others, you are not alone.


And yes, the "he's just not into you" post was damn good!

 

I dealt with this a few weeks ago. Made plans to take a friend to see an MLS game and he backed out at the last minute. This was after bailing on me a few weeks before. I didn't get stuck with a ticket or anything like that, but it pisses me off when you make it a point to say you want to go to a game with me and never follow through.

Another group of people I associate with (wouldn't call them friends) begged me to come to a party a few weeks ago. Of course, I told them I was working that evening, but I said I would make an attempt to come after work. I did just that, but they shut down the party and went to a club before I got there. Since I was not dressed to go to any club, I went home, alone and angry. They were apologetic, but it didn't make me feel any better.