Whose life do you want?

I think about this question every once in a while. I like who I am, and I wouldn't change a whole lot, to be honest. I've got a couple of dudes who I'd love to be. They're doing what I'd always wanted to do -- play baseball, be a rock star, have money, be cool -- and while I love writing and working in the newspaper business, if you gave me the chance, I'd take any of those above options in a second.

But whose life do I want more than any other? There are the obvious: Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day), Nick Hexum (311), David Wright (King of the World). They're famous, good looking and rich. Women flock to them, and dudes do, too; some for the same reason -- not that there's anything wrong with that -- and others because, like me, they want to be them. But every time I ask myself the question, I come back to the same person: Scott Radinsky.

Yes, that Scott Radinsky. The left-handed reliever who made his career with the White Sox and Dodgers. He played 11 seasons in the majors, going 42-25 with a 3.44 ERA and 52 saves. He was 8-2 in 1993, the White Sox's year (before 2004). Without him, where is Roberto Hernandez? Where are the White Sox. Frank Thomas wasn't that near, and neither were Lance Johnson, Robin Ventura, Ron Karkovice or George Bell. Bo didn't know anything compared to Scott Radinsky.

But it's not just his pitching that makes this an easy choice. Scott Radinsky is also the front man for Pulley, a punk band. Pulley is pretty successful, not huge, not small. They're on the Epitaph label, which is one of -- if not the one with which to sign -- best record outfits in punk rock. He formed Pulley in 1996, and he doubled as a major-league pitcher and lead singer of a punk band for five years.

For five years, although I'm sure it was very stressful, Scott Radinsky was living what I think is the perfect life. And I really think I could have done it, too. All I needed was talent.


Your turn, people.

 

Not yours?

 

Well, duh.

 

I want your life, Mikey.

Mr. Belding in my dreams all day. No members of the opposite sex to worry about. And all those Burger King napkins.

 

Perennially Overrated's. I imagine it's fun to sucker-punch cops and torch cars.

 

I wouldn't mind living the rock star lifestyle of being able to go to bed at like 7 a.m. and get up at 4 p.m., go record for a few hours, rinse and repeat. Then do press, talk shows, etc. and do what I think I'd love: Go on tour and vibe off that two hours on stage every night.

In other words, living la vida Nicks(a).

Though a life of Boy Meets World reruns and endless Mario Kart sounds appealing in its own right.

 

Angelina Jolie's -- gorgeous, successful at her chosen craft, willing and able to donate her time and money to causes she feels are important, beautiful children and she's fucking one of the best looking men on the planet.

 

Yeah, but you have to live with the knowledge that you made out with your brother on national TV. Think that one wouldn't haunt your dreams?

 

I never thought I'd ever hear Scott Radinsky's name again.

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

 

I could accept that and fucking Billy Bob to be who she is now. We all have plenty of stuff we regret.

 

In all seriousness, I'd just like to be a good person who can fulfill his dreams and goals.

But for the sake of the thread, I'd say it wouldn't be too bad being a career NFL backup QB. Make fantastic money while standing on the sidelines and just acquit yourself well enough when you do get in there. If you have just one great career moment, even better. Frank Reich comes to mind.

 

It's not as glamorous as I make it sound.