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Who would be on your enemies list?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by DanOregon, Mar 7, 2009.

  1. pallister

    pallister Guest

    Sleeves
    Olives
    Pretentious assholes who take themselves so seriously they actually put politicians on these ridiculous lists
    Traffic jams
    "Journalists" who can't write their way out of a paper bag.
    Paper bags
    People with spiky hair
    Boredom
    Ketchup
     
  2. schiezainc

    schiezainc Well-Known Member

    Here's my list.

    Personal:
    1.) B.B.-> Smug and arrogant jackass who I almost fought while working at the college newspaper. Dude was a real douche who thought the world loved him and looked down at me like he was better than me. I'll be sure to go to this guy's funeral in four years when he OD's and piss in his casket.

    2.) People who don't know how to drive and/or use turn signals.

    Professionals

    3.) Each and every parent of a kid in our coverage area.

    4.) Readers who complain that we don't cover "Team 1" because they're undefeated against a bunch of scrub teams and then don't say two words when Team 1 gets knocked out in the playoffs.

    5.) Readers who can't fathom the idea that we don't treat things like cheerleading as real sports and spend all our time at football/basketball/baseball.

    6.) Each and every writer in my state that does just enough to coast by.

    7.) A sister paper owned by our company that apparently employs a whole staff of people that fit the bill for #6 on my list.

    8.) Coaches that try to bail on me after a game.

    9.) Coaches that think I am going to be intimidated by them and/or will apologize profusely for doing anything but painting their kids in a golden spotlight.

    Others:

    10.) People who wear popped collars.

    11.) Red Sox fans.

    12.) People who watch shows like "Rock of Love", "The Hills" and anything to do with Paris Hilton.

    13.) People who oppose gay marriage.

    14.) People that wake me up before noon.

    15.) People who still think the Patriots are cheaters.

    16.) Eli Manning, David Tyree and anyone else on the 2007-2008 New York Giants

    and lastly.....

    17.) Rick Smits, former Indiana Pacers player.
     
  3. micke77

    micke77 Member

    Dudes who have their freakin' Bluetooth ear pieces on while you're trying to carry on a conversation with them.
     
  4. SnoopyBoy

    SnoopyBoy Member

    Old people at spring training that operate elevators that have two floors (Thanks, but I can figure it out by myself, old timer).
    Oprah Winfrey
    Oprah's mooching friend Gayle somebody
    Paul Begala
    Sean Penn
    Osama bin Laden
    Elton John
    Keith Urban
    Nicole Kidman (after about 2000)
    Bill Simmons
     
  5. farmerjerome

    farmerjerome Active Member

    This girl at work who weighs two tons and thinks she's queen of the universe because she's from the rich part of town. Newsflash: Everybody hates you. No one cares about your Coach bags.

    Greg Paulus.

    My high school guidance counselor, who screwed up my transcript and left me one credit short of graduation. And the principal at the same school.

    Scott Norwood.

    The girl at work's boyfriend, who think he's king shit despite the fact that he's half her size and customers refer to him as "the little prick".

    T.O.

    My old boss, who left such a trail of emotional trainwrecks and unemployment that he could single-handedly be responsible for the journalism crisis.

    Tyra Banks.

    The ex-boyfriend who I dated for over two years that dumped me because I was having a panic attack. For that matter, any guy I've ever dated or crushed on that I did something stupid for. Yeah, it's my fault but I feel better.

    Paris Hilton.

    People at work who don't get the fact that I have my own work to do. Not yours. Mine.

    Anyone with the last name Steinbrenner.

    The "Q" button on my new computer. Something is stuck under it.

    Keith Smart.

    Everyone. I'm angry now.
     
  6. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    I call my personal enemies list "my all-time plane crash..." IOW, people whose names I'd like to see show up in a plane crash obit story.
     
  7. Precious Roy

    Precious Roy Active Member

    The lady that made the wife and I have an accident that caused my herniated disc that is so bad I can hardly walk without falling over in pain.
    The insurance companies who over the years have jaded doctors offices so much that when you are involved in a car accident you can't use your insurance.
    The doctors that don't tell you that they are not going to accept your insurance until after the visit and you have to shell out $312 dollars because you have to see the neurologist so you can schedule the surgery that may or may not fix your back enough to the point you don't want to shoot yourself anymore.
    Or...
    The guy that invented waiting periods on handguns because this old (really youngish) dog just wants to go out behind the woodshed and have a bullet put in his brain.

    Sorry for the vent, but what better place than this.
    Well, back to work.
     
  8. Cubman71

    Cubman71 Guest

    my oldest brother

    Alex Gonzalez, for booting the double play ball in 03 that would have gotten Bartman off the hook

    parents of kids who are home-schooled that want them to participate on public school teams

    my d-bag history professor in college who wouldn't let me write that paper about the Black Sox scandal because "there was no way I could offer anything else on the subject that he didn't already know"

    cancer
     
  9. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    One of my three ex-girlfriends. The whoreish one. I'm cool with the other two.
    One of my buddy's girlfriends. Don't know why. She just annoys me.
    Some douchey kid who lived on my floor freshman year. Can't stand him.
     
  10. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    BYH, Headbutt, Goon, Oz, Johnny D, Big Dog, Flag, Chris the bastard and the rest of the NIAFL.
    With the exception of Boom and 21.
     
  11. buckweaver

    buckweaver Active Member

    what a fuckhead.
     
  12. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    To be fair, the professor had watched Field of Dreams like six times.
     
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