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Who wants to take a whack?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Chi City 81, Jul 7, 2006.

  1. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    In the interests of beating an already long-dead horse, I'm starting this thread.

    In the past three weeks we've had several dedicated to hating soccer, including two today, so why not another?

    Did you know soccer is responsible for the war in Iraq, skyrocketing fuel prices, Mad Cow Disease and the Asian Bird Flu?

    Did you know soccer is to blame for all current illnesses, including, but not limited to: rabies, polio, smallpox, measles, mumps, rubella, juvenile diabetes, scabies, shingles and chlamydia?

    Did you know soccer was invented by Karl Marx in an effort to turn the world away from capitalism?

    Am I missing any of our current problems for which soccer should foot the blame?
  2. cougargirl

    cougargirl Active Member

    What about the slowing of home sales in the past six months? Blame the beautiful game?
  3. Columbo

    Columbo Active Member

    Soccer is 2006's Dubya, breaking a five-year streak.
  4. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    The deficit is all soccer's fault.
  5. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    I like soccer. Soccer doesn't suck.

    Soccer apologists, however, can suck a mighty suck when they want to.
  6. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    It's soccer's fault I'm so fat.
    It's soccer's fault that I'm so bald.
    It's soccer's fault that I'm so old
    It's soccer's fault that I can't talk.

    Sorry. Had to steal those lines from the Simpsons. I'm actually none of those.
  7. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    THAT was well-played. :D
  8. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty sure that North Korea has soccer balls painted on the tips of their warheads. Not only that, but they spent 50 percent of their GNP to create an apparatus that kicks the missile instead of launching it.
  9. poindexter

    poindexter Well-Known Member

    Soccer encourages homosexuality in men. And frigidity in women, I think.
  10. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Anti-soccer threads inspire Poindexter boners. Using that logic, soccer is to blame for Poin's limp dick.
  11. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Soccer depletes the ozone layer.
    Soccer is why we have a rotten health care system.

    Soccer was the stupid answer I couldn't figure out for 29 down in today's crossword!  :mad:
  12. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    It's soccer's fault Janie got molested by her father and had to buy a gun to blow that bastard away.
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