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When your apartment is a mess and there's a chance a girl will be coming over ..

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Clever username, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. Clever username

    Clever username Active Member

    The scenario:
    -My apartment is an appalling mess. I'd be embarrassed to have a guy friend over.
    -New girl, never been to my place before.
    -I'm currently at work with some flexibility as to when I can leave.
    -I'm supposed to meet her at 10:30ish tonight, though I can push that back a bit if I need to, but I'd have to lie to somebody to do that, and I don't like to lie.

    What do I do?
  2. joe

    joe Active Member

    The advice in Esquire sometime this year:
    Clean the apartment.
    If you don't have time to clean the apartment, clean the bathroom.
    If you don't have time to clean the bathroom, clean the toilet.
  3. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Re: When your apartment is a mess and there's a chance a girl will be coming ove

    Don't worry. She won't want to come back to your apartment.

    However, in the event she gets really drunk or something, take her to a motel. Say you're apartment is being fumigated or something.

    It's not really a lie if she doesn't remember it in the morning.

    Have fun!
  4. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    I'm of the mindset that thoroughly cleaning the apartment will jinx your hijinks. Clean it up a bit, but don't go out of your way to make it spotless. You are a bachelor, after all.
  5. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Fuck her in the ass and then your apartment becomes the least of her worries.
  6. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    Re: When your apartment is a mess and there's a chance a girl will be coming ove

    Shove the worst of it into your closet. Clean the toilet and do the dishes. Make sure the sheets aren't gross. That'll pretty much take care of it. Don't go around dusting or mopping. You're a guy. We know you're naturally messy.
  7. pallister

    pallister Guest

    Just be lucky you don't have two dogs living with you; I'll spend an entire afternoon cleaning up, and 14 minutes later the damn place needs to be cleaned again.
  8. beefncheddar

    beefncheddar Guest

    I love that the woman is the one that mentions the sheets.
  9. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    Re: When your apartment is a mess and there's a chance a girl will be coming ove

    I resent both of these sentiments. You know when our house is the cleanest? When my wife ain't here. Just because you're a guy doesn't give you license to be a complete slob.
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Re: When your apartment is a mess and there's a chance a girl will be coming ove

    Leave a little bit early and clean your ass off -- though, not literally; unless you really need it, that is -- until she gets there. Clean the bathroom, then hit the dishes, then the counters, then anywhere you'd sit -- the living room, TV room and so on; in any order of importance to you. That way, even if she gets there early, you've got some -- if not all -- of the joint clean.

    Maybe a little bit dirty is to her liking. If the whole place is spotless, maybe she'll think you're just trying to impress her and it'll turn her off.

    Now, all of this is under the assumption that she's coming to your house to meet you. If not, I suggest you leave work a little early and hit the trouble spots, then pick her up. As long as your apartment isn't a trash heap, I don't think she'll be offended.

    When I have company over, I usually clean the house. As much as I bitched to mom and dad about it, saying no one cares if the place is a mess, I learned that I do. Generally my place isn't too bad anyway, but it gets cluttered. I take care of the clutter if I know I'll be entertaining, which is almost never.
  11. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    And you're married. The next time I got into a bachelor's place and it's clean will be the first, and I'm OK with that.
  12. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    First thing my wife said when she visited my apartment? "Your place is cleaner than my parents' house." I take pride in that.

    It's pretty simple. Inviting someone into your home and not making a decent effort to make it presentable shows a total lack of respect for the guest. A gentlemen always does what they can to make a guest comfortable.
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