When you know you're too old to revisit youth...

I think the OP left off the #HumbleBrag.

 

My insurance provides for new glasses every two years, like a lot of them, so I'll revisit the issue.

 

Its Weds. and needed to take an extra hour in bed after everyone left the house before heading over to work. Yesterday needed two lunch time naps. That sleep deficit is hard to make up. Of course, cannot mention it to wifey otherwise I'll torch any possibility of next year (and the succeeding years thereafter.) Here's hoping that by tomorrow I'll be back to my normal.

No sprinkles or glitter, since went back to the villa, got up and showered before teeing it up at 10:00.

Would I do it again? Sure, but I'll try to remember what price I have to pay afterwards.

Evil, only thing missing was the cigars (on the course, in the hot tub, during poker on the patio.) Ah good times.

 

I saw the thread title and immediately thought of this, as well as the entire How I Met Your Mother episode built off that one movie quote.

 

I've worn progressives since I was 37. As soon as I put them on, it was like I had been looking through a dirty window for years and it was finally clean. That said, the past few years, I am much more comfortable taking off my glasses to read or see anything up close, especially when it's a little dark or I'm tired. I'm 46 now and it's funny when I go out to dinner with friends my age. When it's time to look at a menu, they all reach for their reading glasses and I take my glasses off.

 

I couldn't get used to progressive contact lenses, which I began to need around 1998 when I hit 40, so I sucked it up and had laser surgery. It corrected my nearsightedness, but I still use readers.

 

I'm also a night owl. I'm rarely in bed before midnight and a lot of times it's closer to 1. On occasion I'll push it to 2 (hey, with family life it's my "free" time), but then I start to suffer the next day. Anyway, with this being the case, a couple of years ago a friend of mine got married later in life and we stayed out to past closing time at his bachelor party. I was dead to the world the rest of the weekend. Amazing that I can stay up just part of my normal routine almost every night like that and be fine but if I'm actually out on the town it knocks me out.

 

Last time I was at the optometrist, he's making small talk and says:
'You know the reason you look so much older than you really are is your eyelids. You can get those done really easily nowadays. They get them done in an hour and you look 10 years younger.'

My first thought is 'What the f#ck?'
My second thought is: 'The reason I look a little older than I am is I'm 20 pounds overweight, bald and my beard is completely white.'

My third thought is: 'What the f#ck?'
My thought is: 'Why is the optometrist giving me plastic surgery advice? I wouldn't take a recommendation about glasses from the podiatrist.'

My last thought is: 'What the f#ck?'

 

I have one contact lens to see close and the other to see far. It balances out well, but I still need readers in low light or for small print.

I have bifocals I usually wear when I'm at home

 

I realized I was old when I learned the formula "take half your age and add seven." That made me very sad.

 

At 45, I'm well past the halfway point of my life and I'm closing in on the last third.