When someone on Facebook dies

Today someone posted a picture of a high school classmate who died back in May. So I wondered what happens when someone on Facebook dies. It turns out, if someone sends notice of the death to FB then they will "memorialize" the account so that it doesn't "suggest" you re-connect with the dead person or things like that. There's a less cool option to pull down the entire account, too. My classmate's profile was actually pretty touching with all of the memories and notes people had posted on her page since her death. I very much enjoy the idea.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1932803,00.html

Honestly, I would like for someone to change my status to "Point of Order is dead." and leave it like that for eternity, so I need to check to see if I can work that out. Otherwise, I think the memorialized page is pretty neat. You?

 

A former co-worker of a few of us here died in October. People still leave him messages, knowing he's not here. His family posted his funeral information on facebook, but nothing has been updated. His niece leaves him messages all the time, telling him how much she misses him.

 

A friend of mine lost her boyfriend in a car accident last July and people check his page every once in a while just to say they miss him, have been thinking about him, etc. I think it's great. It's great for the family too.

 

Two of my friends and one family member have died, and looking at their profiles makes you feel like you're going back in time - reading their last status update, etc.

What always gets me is when a person dies suddenly, and the first few updates are along the lines of, "I hope you're OK."

I had a friend Jim, with whom I grew up, die in a boating accident a little over a month ago. He had an older brother (Chuckie) who died a year before Jim was born when he fell asleep at the wheel; he also had a middle brother. The middle brother posted this:

"I hope Chuckie kicks your G-Damn ass for what you did. It was never supposed to be like this, it's not supposed to happen twice to the same family.
We all thought Chuck was gonna watch over you...maybe he just wanted to meet you sooner....either way, someday I'll get both of you back for leaving me here alone to pick... up the pieces.

Dammit Jimmy, dammit to hell little brother."

Facebook can either be sad or cathartic in these situations.

 

I had a young cousin who died in a skateboarding accident about two or three years ago. People still post on his page regularly -- like every few days. It's kind of cool.

On a related note... wear a helmet.

 

I had a close relative who passed last year and he got so many messages and wall posts the family had to take it down. It was beginning to become too much coming up in their newsfeeds every day.

 

One of your favorite co-workers wished him a happy birthday. She didn't know.

Occasionally, his profile shows up as available for chat. That's a little weird.

 

Two of my Facebook friends have died. They were both motorcyclists, but neither died in bike wrecks. But they still have family and friends who post. One girl's mother leaves messages, and my buddy's widow and children leave messages for him. It's an interesting phenomenom.

 

An acquaintance (brother of a kid I went to high school with) I hadn't friended yet died in an accident about six months ago. Facebook kept suggesting we become friends for about three months after it happened. That freaked me out just a little every time I saw it.

 

A close friend of mine died a year ago in December. One day, I log in and see the following status updates from her: "on our way to louisville," followed by "oops, i think this is sarah's profile."

Holy freaking crap, it freaked me out. It was her younger sister who, I guess, got Sarah's log-in info after she passed. I know I've posted on her wall quite a few times since she died, and it's nice to still have that. Her mom has no plans on deleting the profile, and I know myself and a bunch of her friends are glad for that.

 

A former classmate of mine was killed about a year ago. A week after she was murdered, Facebook suggested her as a friend. It was really eerie and I contemplated ignoring the suggestion, but I decided that I would add her as a friend, even though I knew she'd never be able to accept. Something just didn't feel right about ignoring it.

 

My vet mailed me a "we missed you" card today. Guess they forget about diagnosing my dog with inoperable cancer with only a few weeks (at most) to live over a year ago. She's dead. Thanks for the reminder, vet's office.