1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

When is it time for the lawyers?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by huntsie, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Thanks for posting this, QT. And I am glad you are a litigator, too, saying that. When I saw the thread and saw that he has been married 25 years, and saw that it is a separation, not divorce proceedings yet, my first thought was, "I hope they can reconcile this," not "He needs to protect himself legally."

    Then I saw all the "Get a lawyer" posts. And my only thought was that by going that route, it doesn't seem like the best way to reconcile the marriage -- my first thought when I saw his circumstances. When you get a lawyer, it is going to freak her, so she is going to get a lawyer. And honestly, the lawyers are interested in being lawyers, not in your marriage. It just doesn't seem like the first steps for creating an atmosphere for reconciliation, and even if that makes me naive, I'd still rather be naive and risk getting screwed, if it means I am going to make an effort to save my 25-year marriage because I love my wife and want to be with her.

    Plus, given the fact that Huntsie has known his wife so long, and there is so much history there, if he says he thinks is wife is a good woman and isn't already trying to screw him because she already has her mind set on divorce, I'd bet his instincts are correct. I can't imagine too many woman who have been married 25 years, who wake up one day with a "screw him and divorce him," unless there have been obvious problems for a while out in the open. Wouldn't most women in that position be sad and scared and want to save their marriages first?
     
  2. exmediahack

    exmediahack Well-Known Member

    If a woman has been married to the same man for 20-25 years and leaves suddenly... she has been quietly planning it for years. Maybe she was "waiting it out" for the kids to leave the house.

    She will have ALL of her ducks in a row by this point. You are in Pearl Harbor and she in Japan. She's ready. You are not.

    Great advice on trust.

    If you CAN'T trust her, then consider a lawyer but work to mediation -- a decent settlement both of you can live with. If you can trust her, try and work it out yourselves.

    Hang in there... hang in.
     
  3. leo1

    leo1 Active Member

    i'm a litigator as well and i completely agree with this. there are 100s of lawyers who would like your $6,000. with that said, there are plenty of options for amicable and lawyer-free marriage disolutions.
     
  4. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    I believe Huntsie's a Canadian, in which case the major issues will be (if it comes to a divorce), division of property, and child support.

    Family law varies from province to province but in Ontario you have to first draw up separate financial statements after which you have a legal separation agreement. The actual divorce is based on those statements and if everyone's in agreement, the divorce is a formality.

    Unless the proceedings turn acrimonious, most divorces never end up in court here.

    But hire a lawyer to help with the financial statement.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page