what's your stand on gay adoption?

Alma's post started what seems to be one of the more civil and intelligent discussions.
I'm all for same-sex marriage, but let me stir the pot and ask the gay adoption question.
Does the liberal opinion change when it comes to child-rearing?
I admit to being conflicted.
On the one hand, a child reared in a happy, healthy home with two loving parents can only benefit.
But on the other hand, nature decreed that, unlike love, procreation requires two different sexes. Is there something in nature's master plan that requires a child to have the influence of both male and female?
I realize that millions of children are raised in single-parent homes and don't have the influence of one sex, but again, the lack of one parent through death is a natural part of life.
I don't mean to get hung up on "natural", but adoption (or even artificial semination) is a man-created loophole.

 

I think as long as there are two parents who love the child, I don't really care if there are two males or two females. There are so many children without loving parents that it doesn't bother me for the adoptive parents to be gay or straight as long as there are loving people out there adopting.

 

Two loving parents, regardless of sex, are far better than the foster care system.

 

Makes no difference whether the parents are gay or straight. It's all about caring for the child and making sure its needs are met.

There are way too many shitty people raising children these days to deny that right to a couple who are so eager to raise a child that they're willling to navigate the multitude of steps required for adoption.

 

JackS and I had this discussion on one of the previous threads.

While I agree with him that it is important for children to have both positive male and positive female role models as they are growing up, I don't think that should play any role in adoption prerequisites.

Loving parents are a much more important asset to a child's upbringing than what gender they are. Same-sex adoption, with the same stringent requirements that heterosexual parents must abide by, is fine with me.

And I'm not so opposed to single-parent adoption, either. Anyone who is going to go through all those hoops in order to adopt a child is someone who likely will be actively concerned about the well-being of that child.

I think THAT's the important issue when it comes to parenting in general, not just adoption.

 

I'm in complete agreement with all the "for" arguments presented so far.

I have no problem with what some deem the "unnatural" process of adoption because you see it in nature all the time: it's the pack mentality of taking care of its own, even when primary or biological caregiver is unable to.

 

This is rehashing what's been said, but two loving parents are of course better than none. Some of the stories that come out of the foster system make gay adoption, whether you agree with the lifestyle or not, a viable option.

 

Sometimes, the perfect is the enemy of the good.
Gay couples have been known to take on the toughest adoption cases there are. That, to me, ends the argument.

 

Would you say this about heterosexual couples?

Unfortunately for gay couples, the adoption process frequently turns into a grab bag...you take what you can get. It's hard enough for hetero couples to find the coveted 'healthy white newborn' who goes from the womb to the adoptive parents, complete with identifiable medical and family history; gay couples rarely have that rare opportunity. There are obviously other adoption avenues, but not every couple--gay or straight--can handle the challenge of a biracial family, or raising a child who is physically or mentally challenged, or comes from a foster care system that has already put its messy handprints all over the formative years.

So in response to Fenian's excellent point, I'd add that the scope of adoption for gay couples shouldn't be limited to the 'toughest adoption cases.' But in reality, that's how it is.

 

I'd rather see a kid happy in a gay home than downright miserable and lost in a home where the mother and father don't have their shit together.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by that, but it's terribly offensive. I don't know if you have kids, but you sound like someone who conceived children "naturally" and enjoy feeling superior to those who didn't or can't.

Imagine your child grows up and needs to adopt or have fertility treatment in order to experience the joys of parenthood. Would you call your precious grandchild a "man-created loophole"? Would you tell your daughter that? Before you say, "That will never happen to me," just know that infertility affects 1 in 6 couples.

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Yes, I'm for it. I have yet to read any study that says the kids of homosexual parents will become homosexual as a result of their parents' orientation.