What's your favorite Seinfeld line?

His wife is in a coma.

 

From The Bookstore:

KRAMER: Alright, listen up. Now, you three have been hand-picked out of possibly dozens that applied. Now, what we're looking for are motivated, hard-working, homeless gentlemen like yourselves to pull rickshaws. (One of the homeless men starts to wander off, walking away) Now, I don't caer where you're from, or how you got here, or what happened to your homes. But you will have to be physically fit.

(One of the 2 remaining homeless men drops a bottle)

HOMELESS MAN: The government!

 

"Let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

 

One of the best.

 

The best, Jerry. The best.

 

Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is... Elaine just gave me a chance to get out, and I didn't take it. THIS is an idiot.
George: Is that right? I just threw away a life time of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
Woman cheering on marathon runners: You're all winners!
George: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged.

 

It's all pipes!

 

GEORGE: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is
allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him,
Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but
there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the
George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar
George, Bawdy George.

JERRY: I, I love that George.

GEORGE: Me Too! And he's Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks
through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided
against itself, Cannot Stand!

 

How about ...

You've got to see the bay-beee, you've got to see the bay-beee.
Jerry: Could it be these people are having parties just so we can see the baby?
Kramer: Jerry, did you ever wear silk underwear?

Or ...
Hernandez to Eaine: You don't know the first thing about first base.
Elaine: I know you're not getting there tonight.

There's more, of course, but those are the ones you can't help but think of.

Lines everyone says, not realizing where they came from ...
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Yada-yada.
Do women know about shrinkage?
But she looks like a lily.

 

Delores!

 

Favorite single word: "CARTWRIGHT!"

Favorite sequence:

KRAMER: "After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe."

JERRY: "That's unbelievable!"

KRAMER: "Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So, I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital."

GEORGE: "You ran?"

KRAMER: "No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, 'I got a toe here buddy. Step on it!'"

JERRY: "Holy cow!"

KRAMER: "Yeah yeah, then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinky-toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, 'Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?' I says, 'Well, I got a little prize for you, buddy.' Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! Knocked him out cold!"

GEORGE: "How could you do that?"

KRAMER: "Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel... Now I'm driving the bus!"

GEORGE: "You're Batman!"

KRAMER: "Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next stop."

JERRY: "You kept making all the stops?"

KRAMER: "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"

 

"You think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000? Or is this mouth vacuum thing for real?"