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What's your favorite Seinfeld line?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mike311gd, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. jambalaya

    jambalaya Member

    "Are you so completely senile that you don't even know what you're talking about?"
     
  2. I can't believe I'm the first one to say...

    NO SOUP FOR YOU!

    I think that's the most-quoted line in my world. And a pretty damn funny episode.
     
  3. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member

    "I don't want to be a _____!" Sort of a running joke, with pirate being the most famous fill-in.

    Sometimes, though, it's just the delivery of the line. Like in the first season, maybe the pilot, Jerry says, "Books, books, I need my books." And it slays me every time.
     
  4. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    SHMOOPIE!

    IT'S MOOP!

    #1: What's a bubble boy?
    #2: He lives in a bubble.
    #3: Boy.

    From the same episode: "He laughed so hard we almost had to give him an extra shot of hemoglobin."
     
  5. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Kramer: Well after he heckled Toby, she got so upset that she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
    George: That's unbelievable!
    Kramer: Yeah and after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
    George: You ran?
    Kramer: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy, step on it!"


    Kramer: Yeah, yeah. Then, all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat, and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I say, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy." (Makes punching moves.) Plow! Plat! Ke-yah! Knocked him out cold.
    George: How could you do that!?
    Kramer: Then everybody is screaming, because the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is OUT of control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel. Now I'm driving the bus.
    George: You're Batman.
    Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then, I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door, you know, with my foot, you know, at the next stop.
    Jerry: You kept making all the stops!?
    Kramer: Well people kept ringing the bell!

    George: You did all this for a pinky toe?
    Kramer: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
     
  6. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Yeah, well the Jerk Store called! They're runnin' outta you!
     
  7. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Mulllllva?
     
  8. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    Excellent find, Old_Tony. What is the name of this episode?
     
  9. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    I believe it's "The Fire." It's the one where George knocks all the kids and old ladies out of the way to get out of the apartment when there's a fire during the birthday party.

    Another classic part of that episode:
    The Fire

    GEORGE: Ah, great, great. <sniffs> What's that smell? Smoke? <walks to the kitchen> Hey everybody, I think I smell some smoke back here...<smoke boils into the doorway.> FIRE! FIRE! Get out of the way!

    <The kids all scream and the party goes crazy. George barrels out of the kitchen, pushing down kids, clowns and old ladies in a mad panic to escape. He runs out the door and leaves everyone behind.>

    Cut to George sitting in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on his face.

    GEORGE (to the EMTs): It was an inferno in there! An inferno! <Eric, Robin's mother, and all the kids rush at George.>

    ERIC: There he is! That's him! <Tries to clobber George with his big shoe.>

    ROBIN'S MOTHER: That's the coward that left us to die!


    Cut back to George attempting to explain his cowardly actions to Robin, her mother, Eric and a fireman from the back of the ambulance at the party.

    GEORGE (voice is hoarse from screaming): I...was trying to lead the way. We needed a leader! Someone to lead the way to safety.

    ROBIN: But you yelled "get out of my way"!

    GEORGE: Because! Because, as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?

    ROBIN: But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic! I saw you knock them down! And when you ran out, you left everyone behind!

    GEORGE: Seemingly. Seemingly, to the untrained eye, I can fully understand how you got that impression. What looked like pushing...what looked like knocking down...was a safety precaution! In a fire, you stay close to the ground, am I right? And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind! Oh, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear. Any other questions?

    FIREMAN: How do you live with yourself?

    GEORGE: Its not easy.
     
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    I watched a couple more episodes today and found this: From The Butter Shave ...

    Kramer: Did you see Bania's set last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet he killed.
    Jerry: He killed. He only does well when he has me for a lead-in. He's a time slot hit.
    Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts rubbing a stick of Jerry's butter across his face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps rubbing) I'll see you later buddy.
    Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
    Kramer: What?
    Jerry: Do I have to ask?
    Kramer: I ran out of butter so I had to borrow yours. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?
    (Kramer starts to walk out, Jerry grabs him by the shirttail and drags him back.)
    Jerry: Why are you buttering your face?
    Kramer: I'm shaving with it.
    Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

    And along the same lines, from The Little Jerry ...

    KRAMER (approvingly): Sounds like a nice girl. Hey Jerry, is it all right if I put some stuff in your fridge? 'Cause mine's full.
    JERRY: Yeah, sure. You don't even have a fridge, do you?
    KRAMER: Well, not here. <Goes into the hallway, comes back in with a huge bag of chicken feed.>
    JERRY: Kramer, wait a minute, what the hell is that?
    KRAMER: Well, it's chicken feed. <Slams the bag into Jerry's fridge.>
    JERRY: I sense something is afoot.
    KRAMER (closes fridge): Yeah, I bought a chicken.
    <Jerry is about to reply, but George interrupts.>
    GEORGE: Allow me. Why?
    KRAMER: Cage-free, farm-fresh eggs.
    <George is about to reply, but Jerry interrupts.>
    JERRY: Allow me. What are you, an idiot?
     
  11. Mmac

    Mmac Guest

    What's the difference. You're their all time best seller.
     
  12. Mmac

    Mmac Guest

    Ohhhhh, DELORES!
     
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