What's wrong with High School sports, part 9,867

I am covering the first day of the REGIONALS (three games down, 33 more to go this week) in our state.. boys and girls... state tourney is next week (36 more games), meaning the tourney will be done by February and on to the important stuff, like spring footbawl...

It's the 17 and we're in REGIONALS... What happened to March Madness... I hate this state association for compressing and overlapping seasons and letting football wag the dog...
And I'm in Hanceghanistan....

 

One thing that Michigan actually gets right. We have finals in 5 weeks.

 

It's only 3 weeks from Selection Sunday to the Final Four. That's about right, I'd say. I hate playoffs that drag out interminably long, like the NBA first round or the Texas state baseball and softball playoffs.

The latter is a joke — the state finals are in mid-June. The UIL insists on keeping it a round a week so teams can opt to play a best-of-three series. And yet the state semifinals and finals in Austin/Round Rock are single games — the only reason the spring playoffs don't last longer than the football playoffs, which are split into divisions.

I like how some states do it — district tournament one week, regional the next, state the following, and you're done.

 

That's the way we do it, with district this next week, region after that and the state tourneys taking place March 11-14 (girls) and March 18-21 (boys).

But then again, basketball is king in this state.

 

And in another regional in the state... players from one team start throwing punches ... players come out on the court, fans come out of the stands and -- zing -- we have a forfeit because the first team ran out of players

 

And soon, our shitty teams will be out of the way. KY, you may be working for a while son. At least on the girls' side.

I love the way Kentucky does it, everyone in and go for it. Regional finals are better than state tournament games though, the only down side.

 

I despised basketball season in Kentucky when I was working there because it took too frakkin' long, especially with an NAIA school and the local high schools on the agenda. Season starts the first weekend of November and might wrap up at the end of March, plus there's a good chance you have a second high school state tournament tossed into the middle of the season just for shits and giggles.

Here in Florida, boys' districts were last week, regionals are at home sites of higher seeds over the next 11 days, state semis and finals are the first week of March in the Lakeland shit pit. Girls' regionals wrap up Saturday and the girls' finals are next week at the aforementioned shit pit. All the fancy arenas we have in this state now and the high school tournaments still wrap up at the Lakeland shit pit.

That's the way it should be: get the high school winter sports out of the way before the NCAA tournaments get serious.

 

Basketball in Kentucky is stupid, unfair and one of the most moronic ways to ever run anything for high school kids that I've ever seen.

Actually, check that, EVERY sport in this state is the most stupid, unfair and moronic thing I've ever seen.

 

Can I add one, pretty please?

What on earth has happened to introductions? Dear God, make it stop.

Here's how it works in my neck of the woods:

First we have to introduce the damn cheerleaders. By name. With parents names, if you're lucky. Each aspiring pole dancer does a different jump that looks like an epileptic getting out of the shower. They then shake their pom-poms listlessly.

On to the show. Girl gets annouced. She slaps hands with everyone on her team -- including the assistant coaches, trainers and ball girls, until she makes it to the designated handshaker.

The girl and the DH then go into an elaborate handshake routine that lasts roughly two minutes.

The girl then has to go fist pound all three officials, followed by finding and shaking hands with her opposite number and all the coaches, trainers, dieticians and fellatio specialists on the other team. Then she has to go throw a T-shirt to the kids section on the other side of the gym.

This is repeated 10 times.

Then, apparently, both teams have to huddle in a circle on the floor and perform various chants and rituals to purify the wood and make it safe for them to score 40 points on.

Then, after some 6th-grade oboeist wobbles through something approaching the national anthem, we're almost ready.

But guess what?

They fucking shake hands again. With the refs. And everyone on the other team. And, since no one thinks to do this until everyone is almost lined up for the tip, it takes a solid three minutes to sort this out and make sure you've pumped every wrist.

Dear God, make it stop.

 

Good lord, Zeke. I can't imagine sitting through that every night.

 

Eh, I'll most likely either be with some other teams (see: 18th District or 11th District) until they lose. The other guys will take care of the big district.

 

the chicks are too young.