What's on your desk?

OK, maybe this is a stupid thread, and if enough people say so, I'll ask one of the moderators to delete it.

That being said, what's on your desk? I'm sure most of us have the standard ... pictures of our kids, coffee mug, maybe an AP Style Guide or two. But what else?

On mine, a photo memorial to my cats, another photo (and ballcap) memorial to my two Navy ships, a personalized hockey puck, a couple of hand-made candles (I made them), a baseball book, a chocolate bar personalized with my son's information, a photo album of my son and I and a Chik-Fil-A calendar. Oh yeah, and a can of orange juice.

 

I don't have much except an orange cone with the words "It it our company policy to blame the computer" a cone I bought when our shop switched to InDesign and everyone had problems for a while.

 

sadly, my desk -- as I look at it in its current state -- has a couple stuffed animals from the kids that like to play on nickjr.com, several broken bits of vanilla wafers, two empty soda cans, a hair brush, some really old unread magazines, my daughter's kindergarten registration papers, a checkbook and a notebook with quotes from a story I need to get writing among other things.

I'm a desk slob.

 

A crapload of old newspapers, some free books, a candy jar, more old newspapers, a picture of my brother from his senior prom, a kitten-a-day calendar.

I think that's it. Oh, and more old newspapers.

 

Going clockwise as I search around (one of these items might be a wacky fake!): a pile of last year's media guides, crap, my extra laptop, more crap, a pile of phone books and printed-off PDF of state high schools, a box of wine sent to me as a promotion, my phone, a map of all of the state high schools with schools I've visited marked by a sticker, more crap, my piece of shit iMAC, dictionary, notes from a portion of my desk I haven't cleaned since day one, family pictures, roll of hand-towels, books, still more media guides, a TV that doesn't really work, an old-school Brewers hat, an old-school, white-faced Brewers helmet, a cheesehead, a clock, my immaculately cared-for montage of AP streaker photos through the years, more crap, a desk topped by game notes and box scores from my beats for easy reference, calendar, list of area schedules on a cork board.

 

So coog, do you still have the tiara at your desk?

 

Aside from the pictures of my kids,

Office:

* A Priest Holmes mini McFarlane, with hopes that he one day will ride again

* An Albert Pujols mini McFarlane for one of Kansas City's best (homegrown) athletes

* A Reggie Miller ProShot type of figure

* A various array of kangaroos

* A three-monkey "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" figure

Home:

* A sno-globe with Kauffman Stadium inside

* One of those click-clack ball sets that are supposed to go on forever

 

everything.
it is a mess

 

The still beating heart I ripped out of a photographer's chest.

 

So that's what's under all this stuff. A desk. Huh. Who knew?

I use this place--what did you call it, a desk?--to stack every possible item that has no other logical home. If you cut straight through it, from the top, you could analyze sports history from examining the layers.

It would be unthinkable to actually sit there and work.

 

Mine has a computer, scanner, printer, assorted pictures and all the Astros memorabilia that will fit.

 

A lot of stuff...a pic of my son fishing in his little league uniform, me towering over him. He's now 6-2.

A pic of me and a lightning rod columnist for this site, having a drink together in California.

A moose candle; my daughter and I used to joke about mooses when she was very little.

Some miscellaneous athlete cards that somebody keeps inexplicably putting on my desk.

A fifth-anniversary (with the company) clock that doesn't run.

AP style guide, Sports Style Guide and Reference Manual, AP punctuation guide, a page-a-day calendar, two medals from the corporate run (team), a Newport Harbor American Legion napkin, a picture of my daughter and I running in a race, a picture from my mom's retirement party (a four-hour gala entertainment event; that's the business she was in),  a graduation pic of my daughter, a prom pic of my daughter (standing with my son), a cheap green gargoyle statue with an arm broken off (inside thing, long story), and one of those on-desk file things with some papers in it.

That's all, though.