What to avoid when writing:

"Joe Smith hit a shot at the buzzer, and Podunk was down 30-29 headed to the locker room at halftime."

Eh ... as opposed to going to the music room at halftime?

 

You'd be surprised. One of the small schools I covered went into the teachers' lounge for halftime.

 

And I know teams that use classrooms at halftime.

 

Here's one that irritates me every time -- who/which references.

If you're using the team nickname it's who: The Braves, who missed the postseason in 2006 ...
If you're using the school or city, it's which: Atlanta, which missed the postseason ...
What to avoid: Atlanta, who ... or The Braves, which ...
OK, but heading toward unwieldy: The Atlanta players, who ... or The Braves organization, which ...

Also, please avoid refried beans and hard boiled eggs when writing. Your fellow writers will certainly appreciate it, and you're less likely to gas yourself into a coma in mid-sentence.

 

Something else that I discovered when writing a girls basketball story a couple of weeks ago:

Guess what two words you can form with an artfully-placed space in the word "titlists"?

And that's why I'll never use that word.

 

I'm making a titlist, and I'm checking it twice.

 

Just because it's a team nickname doesn't mean it's plural. The Miami Heat would be "it" and not "they." Same with any other singular team name.

 

I was taught to do it this way:
"Joe Smith hit a shot at the buzzer, and Podunk was down 30-29 entering halftime."

I was told never to use "headed."

 

Occasionally, the record is the story, or at least something that needs to be spelled out a bit more than a parenthesis reference. That's rare, though.
But leads are lousy, but I still do them from time to time.
Avoid sports jargon. I once told a stringer if he ever used ``plated'' as a verb in a baseball story again he would be banished forever from existence on this planet, at least as far as I'm concerned. He hasn't used it since.
People ``hit'' home runs, they don't ``blast'' ``smash'' ``clobber'' or ``rocket'' them. There are other ways to describe said homer. Trifecta is forever banned, unless it's a horse racing story. And I dread the day, coming soon I'm sure that ``and one'' gains popular use.
I think a good game story uses a little play by play from critical points, some description of said plays, and plenty of background and context. I may not have read the five stories you wrote leading up to this one.
Don't repeat the mundane details that people probably on TV, but it would be wise to include a reference to the most spectacular play, even if it wasn't all that relevent to the outcome.
I know my editor would wonder why she saw it on ESPN and it wasn't in my story.

Cheers from an old fart....

 

Actually, no. Heat is still plural. Reads funny, but it grammatically correct. Per AP style. Some papers do it wrong, but that's their thing.

 

I tell my staff that all nicknames are plural because they refer to the plural players. I tell them to think of "players" being after every nickname, such as, "The Miami Heat players are winning."

Obviously "players" is left out, but it helps some remember proper style.

Might not be correct reasoning, but works and sounds right to me.

 

limit the use of the word cocksucker to quotes only.