'What teachers really want to tell parents'

Nothing you posted here is wrong. I was using IQ as a rough proxy for competence, and definitely an inexact way to look at it. But it's measurable, and I guess it's good fodder for discussion, if nothing else.

And when I talk about paying teachers more to incentivize smarter people to go into the profession, it is often those AP-level teachers I am thinking about.

 

She is right and wrong. She should have shown patience with your child and tried to work with them the best possible. If you child required a follow-along paraeducator, that should have come up in the IEP process. But if it was not deemed necessary (or no money for it), then your child is in with the group of kids. Amazing thing about kids, though, you might think they are being disturbed by a student, but they get used to their peers very quickly. I'm guessing the administrator was overreacting.

But she is right that everything you want changed for your child instructionally needs to go through the IEP process and that means a meeting. And meetings need time to set up.

 

I gave up trying to have some system to know exactly what was due when and dealt with him over missing assignments and/or low grades.

 

On the "What do you do when they miss assignments" question, be careful what you threaten.

I was a serial offender on that note. In high school, I pretty much had it down to a science. I'd blow off as much as I could then frantically ace everything at the end to pull myself up to a C- with the final.

My dad finally threatened to sit with me in my classes if I got another mediocre report card. It happened. He did. He made it through one English class before he was bored to tears and gave up.

 

Whoa.

Please tell me this was not high school or middle school.

 

Yeah, and while you're playing Dick F'ing Tracy with the teacher, I hope that teacher rides your ass about your piss-poor parenting at every opportunity. Turnabout is fair play.

 

So just blatant ignorance then. So, pretty much your usual.

 

Two personal attacks in a row.

Par for the course around here.

Look, I am a teacher advocate. An unabashed teacher advocate. What's more, I am a public education advocate. I think that has come through in post after post on this topic. I hardly have to prove it at this point. I think teachers should be paid more. I am an unqualified supporter of the teachers' union. I think teachers should get more support from parents and administrators alike. I do. My wife is a teacher. My mother is a teacher.

At the same time, I am sympathetic to parents who ask questions and keep reasonable tabs. In fact, I much prefer that over inner-city parents who don't show up to anything. Who don't care. Who barely put food on the table. Not because of poverty. But because many of them don't give a damn - or just don't know what they are doing, caught in a vicious cycle as they are.

You ask your mechanic questions. You ask your doctor questions. You ask your lawyer questions. Why would you not put the same care into asking your child's teacher questions as you put into what your plumber is doing to your sink? Those early years are vital. I recognize that there is a fine line between inquisitiveness and being a royal pain in the ass who is counterproductive to your child's education. Of course nobody quotes the post I made about pains in the ass who haggle over an A or A- on the first-grade spelling test that, apparently, is going to cost their child the Ivy League.

But just as you don't get carte blanche with me because you have an MD or a law degree, you don't get it because you have an elementary education degree, which even teachers will tell you is often a joke major. I'm not planning on undermining my children's teachers. I'm not planning on pretending to know more than they do, as they certainly have years of training behind them. But I also don't think it's unreasonable to independently evaluate what's going on in your child's classroom. To keep up, basically, all while maintaining a very united adult front at all times.

I hate that I've been pushed to defend this position, in a way, because I think a lot of parents are ridiculously over-the-top about their child's schooling. I think they focus on the wrong things. They freak out over spelling tests and ignore critical thinking. They freak out because the desks aren't in rows. Like they were when they were in school. But it seemed like, on this thread, the other extreme was being advocated - which is complete hands-off parenting, and I can't accept that, either. The "low IQ" post ticked some people off, but it lacks some context because it picks up a narrative thread from other discussions here about this - mostly about how I believe that salaries should be higher and the bar of entry more difficult to attract better teachers to the workforce, particularly for higher-ability kids doing advanced work. Some, like Alma and LTL, disagree with that. And we've gone round and round about it, sometimes civilly, sometimes more heated. But it has definitely been discussed, so the comment - and I apologize for its pithiness among people who might not be familiar with the prior discussions and cites - was not as out-of-the-blue as it may have seemed.

Or maybe this is all just blatant ignorance. My usual.

 

Homeschooling does have its advantages.

 

My question was aimed at what you did with your kid, not the school. Once you find out that the kid has not done the work, (it appears that you found that out a few times) what did you do to your son? what was the punishment? Or do you want the school to have to do that also?

 

One being that your kids will develop zero social skills.

 

That's between me and my son.

I am in the information business. All I wanted was information. The information they trumpet that is on web sites isn't particularly helpful except after the fact.

I'd much rather say, "Let's see your math homework. Page 20. problems 1-20" than, "So you didn't turn in your math homework and got a zero? You know that means you're grounded for the weekend."