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What, no G.I. Joe thread?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JayFarrar, Aug 7, 2009.

  1. Piotr Rasputin

    Piotr Rasputin New Member

    There is never an appropriate time to post these, but:




     
  2. Wenders

    Wenders Well-Known Member

    Funnily enough, that's about the only thing that could get me into this movie. I didn't mind him in She's the Man (surprising, because I hate Amanda Bynes) and Coach Carter. Primarily, I spent most of both of those movies hoping he'd take his shirt off.

    Then again, being a 20-something female, I'm probably not the demographic this is aimed at. I think I'll take my money over and see Julie and Julia.
     
  3. Riddick

    Riddick Active Member



    that's why we use the word spoilers
     
  4. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member



    I had the same thought, but I'm fairly certain I'm waiting for cable for this one, so I let it pass.
     
  5. apeman33

    apeman33 Well-Known Member

    I didn't really figure I was ruining a movie for an almost entire threadful of people who were claiming they didn't want to see it. But lesson learned.
     
  6. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    Spoilers ahead if anyone cares....

    Finally went to see this today. A 2 p.m. showing. Had no expectations going in, and it lived up to them.
    Holy shit did this suck.
    There were some good things. Some nice fanboy shout-outs (like Hawk's uniform at the end, and Breaker popping a bubble). The Night Raven looked good, even if it looked like they sanded down one of the planes from "Stealth" and reused it. The last scene was cool. And there were some parts of the plot that had potential. For all the anguish the accelerator suits caused in the trailers, that part was believable to a point. Same with the nanomites. The main plot with Destro's scheme was plausible.
    Hell, even Marlon Wayans wasn't as bad as I'd feared.
    But, of course, they had to take a big steaming dump on the source material and ruin what could have been a great story:
    -- The Duke-Baroness connection and her turning on Cobra? Please. The Destro-Baroness love story is on par with Snake Eyes and Scarlett (which also went unmentioned in this movie).
    -- Nice acting job, Dennis Quaid. My Hawk action figure showed more range. And it doesn't look like it just shit its pants every time it comes out of the box.
    -- How does someone build a city-sized base underwater, under the polar ice cap, and no one notices? It's not like putting up an ice fishing cabin.
    -- If I see one more plane pull out of a nosedive on a dime, inches from the ground, while traveling at Mach 6 I'm going to scream. Which brings up another point -- I know you're over the north pole and traveling like a bat out of hell, but how do you get from the skies over Eastern Europe to the skies over Washington, DC in a matter of minutes?
    -- Why did they have to go the nanomite route to give Destro his mask? Why not just make it like every other Joe reference to it -- he wears it as an homage to his ancestors, and it's pretty damn useful. There's heads-up displays and all sorts of sensors in there. You could even use your precious CGI on it.
    -- The guy who played Duke was even worse than Dennis Quaid.
    -- Eccleston was good as Destro, and Gordon Leavitt was good as Cobra Commander. Too bad they had to make THAT character Cobra Commander. The CC character would have worked much better as Dr. Mindbender. With the mask and eye thingie he even looked like an updated version of Mindbender. Would have been better to make CC a character in the background for this one and use his rise from failed businessman to terrorist leader as a subplot to set up the next movie.
    -- The music was annoying as hell. Made the whole thing feel like a cartoon.
    -- The fight scenes, especially with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, were well-done. Too bad it had to fall victim to the old action movie cliche of "one must die" when there's a big throwdown at the end.

    In short, there IS a good G.I. Joe movie to be made. This one even had pieces of it in it, which is what's so damn frustrating. Shuffle a few things around and it could have been made. Had they gone the route of "Batman Begins" and "Dark Knight" and shown a little more patience they might have gotten there. Instead it came out like they filmed a retarded 7-year-old making explosion noises while he plays with his Joe figures.
     
  7. RossLT

    RossLT Guest

    I am ashamed I laughed as hard as I did at this, nice work.
     
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