What misperceptions do people have about you?

I covered a team with a female sports writer and once the coach asked her, in front of several other writers, "Wow, that's a nice ring, who gave you that?"

Writer: Uh, my husband.

Coach (way too loudly): REALLY?!

Every time I saw her over the next decade I would say, "REALLY?" and we would both laugh our asses off.

 

Not ture at all

 

My list is a little slanted because I live overseas.

1) Just because I'm an American doesn't mean I only give a damn about the NFL, NBA, NHL or Major League Baseball. I've lost count of how many jaws have dropped when Europeans or Antipodeans hear me rattle on about soccer, cricket, rugby or Aussie Rules with my Midwestern American twang (if such a thing actually exists).

2) Just because I'm an American doesn't mean I agree with every decision ever made by my country's government. I have ordered no invasions, bombings or arrests, so please don't expect me to apologize for or explain whatever it is that irks you -- unless, of course, I can start holding my coworkers accountable for the Opium War, Boer War, Rape of Nanking, Killing Fields, Boxer Rebellion, infanticide, etc. That's right, I do pay attention to events that happen outside the borders of my country. Please try to contain your crushing disappointment.

3) Just because I work in sports journalism doesn't mean my life outside work also revolves around sports. To this day my friends and family are surprised when I try to avoid sports-related conversations, and there is a note of disappointment and concern when non-sports items end up on a Christmas or birthday wish list. Sorry, I'd rather read something by Brian Greene or Cervantes than whichever turdburger Mitch Albom or (insert ESPN personality here) decided to grace the world with this year.

4) Just because we work together doesn't mean I want to hang out with you. I'm glad you're here to carry on the tradition of the ebullient, hard-drinking, long-partying expat journalist -- I'm not. I have other things to do, none of which include whoring it up at 4 a.m. If that means I'm not "one of the guys" or a "team player," then so be it.

 

My mother thinks i'm cynical and judgmental.

 

Most people have no idea that I am closer than I appear.

 

That I have any idea what the hell I'm talking about ... but my wife works very hard to correct this misperception. it's kind of her mission in life.

 

People think I can go to any game I'd like to unannounced and just walk in.

They assume I can show up at a pro contest, flash my generic press pass and be escorted to the front row.

 

Yes, I go to the games for free.

Sure, I'll give you my barcoded pass for the local NFL game. Are you willing to dress like me, dye your hair like mine, grow facial hair like mine, all so you match the required photo ID I have to present along with the pass; Tweet observations and information (not score updates) on a regular basis; stay three hours after the game; file a game story, column, notebook, and start work on a couple second and third day stories?

No? Didn't think so.

No, you cannot go with me as my assistant instead. No, I cannot get you an autograph. No, I can't give you phone numbers.

Yes, I'm now worthless to you.

 

I used to love it when my friends would call my cell immediately after a game was over.

"You're done working, right?"

 

1) That since I sing opera I'm a) fancy b) a snob c) hate popular music
2) That I'm self confident
3) That since I'm a performer I'm an extrovert

 

That I watch a ton of sports on television. I don't. I'm usually at a high school game, or when I'm at home, I'm spending time with my family. After all have gone to bed, I sit down to watch...The Discovery Channel, usually. Sports used to be a past time, but when it's your job (and when the job sucks only a little less than the job market), the desire to watch them goes down exponentially.