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What Makes This Piece Good, Vol. 2: Mike Bianchi at Dale Earnhardt's funeral

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Double Down, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    This is an important point in this discussion because you're correct. I banged my head against the wall plenty in terms of old world thinking. But, if you want to do good work, you have to figure a way around obstacles and morons, even though that fight may be exhausting at times. Obviously it helps to have a great editor, someone who is able to, at least on occasion, embrace the value of doing it differently. But if you don't have one — and I'm speaking broadly here to anyone who might be reading this thread — here is what I would recommend:

    1. Try to talk to your editor as much as possible before hand about what your idea might be, especially if it's different. Maybe Bianchi didn't think this was the approach he was going to take until he was sitting in that church, but if not, giving an editor a talk, a head's up before the story lands in his/her lap and it's two hours before close is going to help a lot. Try to include them in the process. I can't tell you how valuable it is to have an editor feel like it's a collaboration instead of a surprise, a bait and switch, or that you're some know-it-all, just-out-of-school-effing-stud who thinks they know journalism, and all its mysteries, already. You will go a long way in this business if you learn the delicate art of making your boss look good in front of his/her bosses. It will result in you getting more freedom, more trust, better assignments.

    2. If you run into a situation where you have one assignment and you are under strict orders to come back with something more traditional (meaning not something like this) then as your own personal writing exercise, go back to your house after you file and write the version you wanted to write. Then show it to someone you trust. Critique it. Workshop it. Throw it in the trash, or, better yet, use it as the structure for some kind of follow up story. Let's say Bianchi, instead of being a columnist with a large body of work to give him the credibility to do what he wanted with this, was just a 25-year-old reporter sent to cover the Earnhardt funeral, and there was no Ed Hinton there to write the main story. Maybe he writes it with a more traditional approach, pleases his deadline-oriented editors, but then takes all the reporting he didn't use and tries to make it into a Sunday centerpiece that has more quotes or insight from the drivers who attended the funeral. I really think one of the biggest keys to breaking through the tired boxes you're forced into in some places is learning to see the angles, understanding when you can take the initiative and do extra work, and also making it seem like your boss was the driving force behind it.
     
  2. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    I actually have mixed feelings about this column.

    I love the detail, the little things, like including the name of the wife of one driver and those of the daughters of another, that help personalize the column for readers who may know the drivers and their names but not those of family members.

    I love the brevity -- the economical writing, and to follow Guy_Incognito's example, the paragraph that resonates the most with me is this one, despite the fact that the copy editors on this board probably all would cringe at the structure of the first two sentences in it:

    And now, they really know. Because if the indestructible Earnhardt can be put into an early grave, they all can. If Earnhardt must walk through the valley of the shadow of death, nobody is immune. To achieve anything in racing, you must navigate that nebulous line between danger and disaster. It's like English racer Jackie Stewart once said, "In my line of work, the fastest are too often listed among the deadest."

    It has perspective and relate-ability, yet is visual and searing when read with the mind's eye.

    That said, I'm not sure I like all the intentionally asked actual questions, or even the greatly written tag/suggested one at the end, because of what could be taken as assumptions of what the racers are thinking and feeling -- all made without actually talking to or quoting any of them.

    It's unquestionably great writing. But, for me, it leaves something to be desired as far as any evidenced reporting. (I'm thinking the reporting was, in fact, actually done, but its apparent absence is an issue for me.

    Of course, that's the perspective of someone who had little exposure to or interest in the sport, and of someone who doesn't "know racers." Maybe that's how this is perceived shortcoming arises, but I'm guessing there were probably a lot of other only-occasional fans and other general-interest readers of all the stuff that was written about Earnhardt that week, too.
     
  3. SEC Guy

    SEC Guy Member

    I would bet that most columnists, given the assignment of covering Earnhardt's funeral for a paper with a huge NASCAR fanbase, would file a minimum of 2,000 words.
     
  4. MeanGreenATO

    MeanGreenATO Well-Known Member

    DD, I've said it before and I'll say it again, stuff like this doesn't go unnoticed.

    For starters, Bianchi's piece read so much shorter than its word count. The amount of imagery there is superb, and he made a Biblical reference and it didn't seem out of place. In fact, look at the verse Bianchi uses.

    He says Earnhardt walked "through the valley of the shadow of death." The next line of the verse is "I will fear no evil," which is fitting because Bianchi stressed how much drivers can't be filled with fear if they're going to be good at their jobs.

    But reading this, I'm agreeing with Write on this one. I don't know if I could assume what all these people were thinking unless I asked them, because who am I to tell readers what their favorite drivers may have been thinking? I wonder what kind of the drivers' reaction was after this was published.
     
  5. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    All fair points to bring up. There are certainly sections of this that a bit more detail or answers might have helped. I also loved the alliteration in this when I read it 13 years ago, but upon reading it again for this exercise I felt like it walks right to the line and maybe crosses it of being overcooked. Might come down preference. I do think alliteration is a good trick to learn to make certain parts of your writing pop.

    Either way, one thing you learn when you write LONG pieces is that it's often harder to write short and tight. We'll do a longer piece next, but I picked this in part because restraint is part of learning how to write long (well).
     
  6. daytonadan1983

    daytonadan1983 Well-Known Member

    I wish you could find the piece he did when he came to the memorial service of my indoor football player who died -- during a game.

    To make a long story short, Bianchi delivered a 750 gem that perfectly described why a kid would literally sacrifice his life for a $250 a game gig. The news side reporter wrote 300 words and got the player's jersey number wrong.
     
  7. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    Here is that piece.

    http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2007-03-04/sports/BIANCHI04_1_thunder-football-player-nfl-player

     
  8. dirtybird

    dirtybird Well-Known Member

    WriteThinking is correct in the way it does the inside-someones-head narrative. Gary Smith dropped that on occasion. It can be effective, but pushes it well into the realm of column, since I assume none of these folks actually revealed their worries about their mortality to him.

    But getting past that, it seems most effective because it has a point and never veers. It wants to make one point and the first 80 percent hammers that. There really isn't that much detail. No long descriptions. Nothing about the casket or flowers or weather. Each detail seems carefully selected to fit with and hammer in that point. And all that is done in relatively short sentences, each heavy on colorful and emotive language.
     
  9. daytonadan1983

    daytonadan1983 Well-Known Member

    Thank you DD. Bianchi also picked up the tab at dinner after the memorial because the news side and the video guy were acting like jerks and he knew it.
     
  10. 3_Octave_Fart

    3_Octave_Fart Well-Known Member

    Bianchi is a great guy, and funnier in person than he is in print.
     
  11. Charlie Brown

    Charlie Brown Member

    There was nothing wrong with the way he wrote that.
     
  12. SEC Guy

    SEC Guy Member

    This is very true. Such a great guy. Absolutely hilarious.
     
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