What is this rugby that they speak of?

So I'm sitting at home channel surfing, because I really do feel that if I burn enough calories using my clicker, I can skip the gym.

Anyway, I come upon a rugby match on ESPNU. Odd, since no colleges or universities are involved, but I understand that filling 24 hours of programing can be a bitch. I digress.

I'm not really sure what's going on. First of all, half the players wear what look like old football helmets from the Four Horsemen era. Second, half the players look like running backs, the other half like plumbers and/or abusive husbands.

They're tossing what looks to be a large rubber watermelon.

It seems as if a typical play series involves a guy running with the rubber watermelon. Then he gets flattened by one of the plumbers/abusive husbands. Then, everyone seems to forget about the watermelon for a while and decide to have some fully clothed gay sex. After everyone is done having fully clothed gay sex, someone decides to pick up the rubber watermelon and start running again.

It's weird and foreign and totally unfamiliar to me...but also sorta cool. In five minutes, I've seen hits that I'd be lucky to see once in an American football game. Extra points for these guys because they don't wear any pads.

I just wish I knew what the hell was happening.

 

Not too dissimilar from football. The object is to cross the goal line with the ball. You also can kick the ball through the uprights for points. You just can't pass the ball. Scrums also are fun.

It's fun to watch. And rugby players make for good friends, if you're a drinker. Those fuckers could out-drink an Irishman.

 

Love rugby. Love it, love it, love it. I had a cousin who played professionally for a while in England and Australia.

Actually, I learned the game best by playing EA Sports Rugby for hours on end my sophomore year in college. It actually really helped when I started covering some rugby games that spring.

You have to be either big or crazy to play that game. The best players are both.

 

Some advice: Do NOT get in fights with them at bars. Your ass will be grass.

 

Please tell me you know this only theoretically.

 

Through witnessing first-hand in an NYC bar.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

 

Love rugby.

I had a friend in college who played on a club team. I went to one of his games. He came off the field at halftime with blood streaming down his face. His girlfriend said "Dennis, what happened to your nose?"

He got a quizzical look on his face, then wiggled his nose with his hand. "Ah, shit, broke it again." He had absolutely no idea until she pointed out that it was bleeding.

Rugby players are a different breed.

 

Rugby players = very hot.

 

Now we know what sport Boom plays.

 

I love all the rugby drinking songs. Especially this one: http://www.mining.wits.ac.za/marrying.htm

 

The songs are awesome. A rugby party is truley something to behold. I have never seen people who can drink like a rugger. It is unreal. Plus they are tough as nails. Great sport. And they say hockey is too violent.

 

Which raises the question, could anyone outdrink an Irish rugger and live to tell the tale?