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What is the appeal of Mickey Mouse?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Bubbler, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. Bubbler

    Bubbler Active Member

    As I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic today in my rental car -- desultory, soul-crushing work-a-day boredom well under way -- there was a momentary distraction.

    The God Squad had taken flight. A devout pilot was sky-writing "Thank U God" in the morning sky. (More shit was written, but I didn't stick around to see if he continued to profess his fealty via the Prince song title stylebook.)

    It was ironic that this Bible-thumping aviator decided to cropdust his faith all over the very beautiful perfect blue sky that God himself created. It might also be considered apropos that he did so in DisneyWorld's air space since Mickey Mouse is treated with God-like reverence.

    I'm here in Orlando to cover my beat. It's the first time I've been to DisneyWorld since the late 1980s. So much has changed since then, all of it putting the "blo-" in "-viated".

    The Disney complex itself is at least double the size it was when I was last here. Wholesome excess to the max. DisneyWorld is what would happen if Pat Sajak and Vanna White hijacked Star Trek II's Genesis device, strapped themselves to it in some sort of bizarro dry-humping vapid suicide pact, and plunged themselves into central Florida to create a new world where banal commercialism is not only appreciated, but worshipped.

    At least the park has, I dunno, some sort of Americana appeal? (Help me out here.) The same can't be said for the resulting sprawl surrounding the area.

    Remind me again, besides the weather and lack of income tax, why anyone in their right mind would want to live in Orlando? Please give me more crass T-shirt shops and outlet malls. Let the cheap plastic and 100 percent cotton hit me, from my deepest synapses all the way to Kissimmee.

    Give me gobs of tourists from all over the world acting like dumbass tourists, which goes to show that "ugly Americanism" is universal in its way.

    And how 'bout traffic management and road-planning straight out of a crazy woman's quilt? Whose idea is it to have 10-minute waits at busy intersections, thus, putting paid the quaint notion of traffic flow? The freeway on and off-ramps were designed by Satan. Tolls? Channeling C.W. McCall, "I ain't a gonna pay no tolls."

    All of this hellish miasma is centered around Mickey Mouse. I'm sure its possible to swing your dick in the 20-mile square area around DisneyWorld without giving Mickey Mouse or one of his crew a cockslap, but I wouldn't want to test the theory.

    My question is ... why? What the fuck is so appealing about Mickey Mouse?

    Mickey Mouse might be one of the most questionable icons in icondom. What is Mickey Mouse's seminal moment in cartoons or movies? Fantasia? Trippy yes, but not because of Mickey Mouse. I can't recall a single Mickey Mouse cartoon, other than Steamboat Willie, and only because it's historic and it has that cool black-and-white jumpy 20s vibe to it. Besides that? Can't remember a one.

    TV? I'm 40, and like Mike Gundy, a man, so I'm old enough to remember when the original Wonderful World Of Disney show was on NBC on Sunday nights. It was beloved, but I really can't remember why, other than it being family fare. I don't remember Mickey Mouse in it other than being a sort of host. I am too young to remember the Mickey Mouse Club, but I've seen its various offspring on Disney Channel. Meh.

    Mickey Mouse doesn't have a gimmick, besides a high-pitched voice. He doesn't really have a rival. Donald Duck doesn't count. He's sort of Mickey's angry drunk drinking buddy who is otherwise harmless.

    So I don't understand at all why people literally travel the world to make a pilgrimage to pay homage to the Jim Nantz of cartoon characters. It's worse when he actually shows up in the anthropomorphic flesh, as he did today right in my grill. He can't talk, so he has to mime his cornball bullshit. Mickey Mouse Mascot Version triggers my gag reflex. I want to throw him off of a very high cliff.

    Maybe that's it. I like cartoon violence. No. I love cartoon violence.

    The best cartoons are based around violence. The best cartoon characters are sociopathic in nearly every definable way.

    Bugs Bunny. I love the shit out of Bugs Bunny. He's a Hall of Fame shit-talker, using his wits to cut you to pieces, and failing that, he'll literally fuck your shit up, usually via heavy Acme explosives.

    Daffy Duck in his early incarnation was literally insane. In his later one, he was an anal retentive fuck, but one you loved to hate and who was a good foil. It goes on. Foghorn Leghorn and the Dog. Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner. All deservedly in the cartoon pantheon, all because their violence was never suppressed.

    Even Tom and Jerry, for their predictable by-play, weren't safe. They've been in a knife fight (well, scissors). Has Mickey Mouse ever even been shivved?

    So someone explain it to me, what's the appeal of Mickey Mouse? I don't come closing to getting it.
  2. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Active Member

    I prefer Mighty Mouse.
  3. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

  4. bumpy mcgee

    bumpy mcgee Well-Known Member

    word on the street is Mickey is so fine, is so fine, he'll blow your mind.
  5. dixiehack

    dixiehack Well-Known Member

    The one where he, Donald and Goofy had to pack up ahead of eviction is great. Otherwise, I've got nothing.
  6. KJIM

    KJIM Well-Known Member

    I can't believe someone
    A. Cared enough about the subject to write that lengthy post/vent

    B. Actually read it in full.

    I skimmed it since my sister lives in Orlando.

    Other than that, "The Wonderful World of Disney" was on ABC, not NBC.

    Sorry, Bubbler, but I pretty much ignored the rest. What was it about again?
  7. wedgewood

    wedgewood Member

    I read it all. Awesome rant. I'm with Bubbler. Mickey sucks.
  8. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    It was on NBC from 1961-81.
  9. KJIM

    KJIM Well-Known Member

    Really? I swear I remember it from ABC. Maybe I'm getting Eisner's "Schoolhouse Rock" confused with it.

    Childhood is a blur. But Mickey is an icon.
  10. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    It may have been on ABC at some time, too. But it was a big deal Sunday night show on NBC, which seemed to be ahead of the other networks in color broadcasting.
  11. Beef03

    Beef03 Active Member

    He is the icon, the original for Disney. He started it all and has mostly sat back and let his buddies take it form there in the name of Mickey, but he became the face the company was built around. It's like he's the god father, the man at the top and every other character is his foot soldiers, Mickey sits back while they do the heavy lifting. It's all about branding and he has been the brand since the 30s.

    Buddy I agree, fuck Mickey. I've always been a roadrunner and coyote man.
  12. waterytart

    waterytart Active Member

    There are members of sj who encounter Bubbler in full rant and can't be bothered to read the post because it's long?

    When Game 7 goes to extra innings/overtime, do you refuse to watch? If someone gave you a magnum of Dom Perignon, would you dump it?

    Bubbler rants are sj gold.
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