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What do you wear to Wal-Mart?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mike311gd, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    For No. 15,000, I'd like to propose that question to the masses.

    I didn't do a whole lot today. I got up around 9 a.m., watched Scrubs for a couple hours and got something to eat at Dunkin' Donuts. Then between noon and 6 p.m., I relaxed. But I needed to get a couple things, so I decided to go to Wal-Mart.

    Before I left, I grabbed an old Green Day sweatshirt and turned my black hat backward to complement my gray, Old Navy sweatpants I wear to bed -- and, apparently, out to shop. I got out of my car and told myself I looked like a "real winner." But then I thought, "Will it really matter?"

    Every time I go to a Wal-Mart -- and stores of the like: K-Mart, Target, dollar stores, etc. -- I find a great deal of comfort in knowing that I'm probably not the lowest rung of society, at least from an aesthetic standpoint. And I was reminded of that once I hit the parking lot and followed behind some dude in a ratty T-shirt and camouflaged shorts. (At least I had the decency to cover up my ratty T-shirt with a hoodie.)

    I spent the entire time walking around the store for my materials just looking at all the different characters. Love the store or hate it, Wal-Mart's best feature, in my opinion, is that you can find any type of person there and pretty much be surprised by what you see, too. There are times when I think about getting a second job at Wal-Mart just to people watch. I wonder if they're hiring greeters.

    And my night was topped off when, standing in line ready to pay for my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and oven lighter, a 30-something woman plops down a home pregnancy test -- and only that -- and the clerk asked if it was mine. "No, no," I said, and continued my shopping excursion at the Giant, where I actually felt bad about my attire.

    Anyway, Wal-Mart might be ruining the small-business model, and it might treat its employees like garbage, but nothing quite matches the victorious feeling it gives me every other Sunday. I think that was Sam Walton's aim. Good job, sir.

    So what do you guys wear on your journey to Wal-Mart? If I'm going to Circuit City or Best Buy, I'll put on a decent pair of pants to at least look presentable. But with Wal-Mart, what's the point?
  2. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    My best bib overalls and Amurican flag shirt.

    Oh. And shoes. (Although there was this one bowling ball shaped woman walking around today in stocking feet.)
  3. Flash

    Flash Guest

    I just got in from Wal-Mart. I was in yoga pants, my sneaks and tech shirt. Had been at the gym and out walking the dog in the sunshine. I was probably sweaty and maybe even kinda stinky.

    But I stood out from the crowd. Particularly because I was not wearing a sari.
  4. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member

    If your shirt can reach at least 3/4th down your gut, you are ahead of most of the men and women (shudder) in the store at any one time.

    Dunkin' Donuts and Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Could this be the root of a certain dry spell?
  5. JakeandElwood

    JakeandElwood Well-Known Member

    Pretty much whatever I want. That's one of the few places I don't feel like I have to shower before going.
  6. GB-Hack

    GB-Hack Active Member

    A top hat, monocle, and spats.
  7. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    That's the thing, my friend. It's just about the only place where it doesn't matter what you look like or how you smell (Flash), you're A-OK at Wal-Mart because the standards are that low. I love that place.
  8. Overrated

    Overrated Guest

    Nothing. I can't tell you the last time I went to that place.
  9. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    A g-string, cowboy boots, Oakley Sunglasses and leprichaun hat.
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    An a Dr. Scholl's pad, right?
  11. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    What the hell are those?
  12. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Just something that gets in the way of you and your foot veggies.
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