What Could Go Wrong? Florida's 2013 Burmese Python Challenge

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/06/us/florida-python-hunt/index.html

"Miami (CNN) -- Burmese pythons have been threatening Florida's ecosystem for years, so the state is turning to the public for help in the form of a hunting contest to cull the population.

"The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has announced the 2013 Python Challenge beginning in January."

The state is taking precautions and such, but oh, man, this could be bad. Redneck hunters with clubs and machetes in the Everglades.

 

Sounds like fun. But the state should just treat them like other states treat feral pigs and declare them open for hunting year-round.

 

WE'VE GOT MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLAIN!

 

Unavailable for comment:

 

They already do. There's no protection or hunting season for the Burmese python, instead they're treated as an invasive species pest that anyone's welcome to kill any time.

But that's not enough because, let's face it, wading around a bug and critter infested swamp in search of a monster snake ain't exactly the most pleasurable way to fill a Saturday off. Killing pigs is a lot easier. Hence, the need for these contests to provide a little incentive.

 

Carl Hiassen just got his next book plot for free.

 

Put a per snake bounty on them like Louisiana did with nutria. Make it $100 per snake and I know some folks who'll clear them out pretty quick.

 

Just to be clear, this is what a Nutria looks like:



whereas this is what Burmese Python looks like:



Slight difference, no? There are easier ways to make a hundred bucks.

 

But not nearly as fun.

 

Does this not serve dual purposes? We get rid of a few pythons and we get the weeding out process of the dumb mother fucking redneck who thought this was a good idea. Win win, really.

 

Aurelian Smith, Jr.