1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

What about "Heaven?"

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by FireJimTressel.com, May 22, 2007.

  1. I've always been taught not to harp on God and Jesus and religious stuff like that while writing, but I'm curious what y'all think of this. I'm writing a story on a high school baseball player whose father died before the season began. The final quote probably is going to be his pastor, who the kid lives with now, saying the kid gets a lot of his strength from knowing his dad is in Heaven. That said, does anyone have a problem the inclusion of Heaven in my lede? If you do, any other suggestions?

    If Johnny Curveball ever could count on one thing before a baseball game, it was his father’s lessons from the stands.
    “He would always yell ‘Follow through’ after every pitch,” Curveball said. “There was not a game I was pitching that he didn’t yell that. I still hear it.”
    Except his father's voice doesn’t come from the stands anymore. It comes from Heaven.
  2. As I've made clear on here, I'm a man of faith.
    However, I almost always shy away from religion in my stories unless there is a damn good reason for it.
    In this case, I'd say you have that reason. If the kid believes his father is in Heaven, I have no problem with that.
    I might phrase it more like, "Except now he doesn't hear his father's voice in the stands. Now he believes it comes down from Heaven."
  3. GB-Hack

    GB-Hack Active Member

    As someone who is non-religious, I have no problem with this. If it's what the kid thinks, then its prefectly ok.

    And I prefer your phrasing, since it fits in with the end of the sentence before the quote.
  4. SoSueMe

    SoSueMe Active Member

    Had this recently.

    I'm not a man of faith, of any kind. But, I hold no ill will to anyone of any faith. To each his own as long as you're a good person.

    Anyway, did a story on a kid who missed two full seasons with injuries but accredited his return to "finding God."

    You just write the story making sure your readers know the subject believes in God or Heaven; and write in a way that does not editorialize it into stating that God or Heaven are fact.
  5. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    I don't have a problem journalistically, but I think it would be more effective if you don't put heaven there. Set it up so the kid still hears his father's voice when he is on the mound but then say his father is deceased.

    Much more dramatic.

    You can put heaven in at the end to tie it all together.
  6. KJIM

    KJIM Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's capitalized, though. It's lowercase throughout my revised KJV Bible.
  7. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I have no problem with it, but I'm not the sports writing authority on heaven... he is...

  8. Frank_Ridgeway

    Frank_Ridgeway Well-Known Member

    I would like to read a story in which a high school kid says his fastball improved after he went to the crossroads and made a deal with Satan.
  9. fishwrapper

    fishwrapper Active Member

    Miroslav Satan?

  10. I could make one up. Can it run in your paper say, Saturday?
  11. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    I think Satan requires you to sign a waiver agreeing not to tell. Or so I have heard.
  12. jgmacg

    jgmacg Guest

    In a gesture of loyal and affectionate dissent, I'll offer this: I think it's fine when a subject, in a quote or reported dialogue, states that a voice comes from heaven. It makes me mighty uncomfortable when the writer does it. Even, in this case, when you're going to corroborate the assertion at the end of the piece with a quote.

    I'd look for a creative way to mention "the voice" at the top. Save "from heaven" for the last line of the piece. You'll get more emotional bounce from it that way in any case.
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page