Well, if baseball doesn't work out...

I guess Julian Tavarez could always fall back onto this:

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/2007/05/tavarezthe_x_ra.html

Any guesses as to what his nick-name would be?

 

Oh, come on, that's cheating.

 

Um, I'm Busty de Lusty.

 

I get "Bam Bam"

 

Of course you are.

 

Julian became Xavier Dicks. I turned into Dr. Feelgood. Never really liked Motley Crue, though. Always thought of them as fake metal, aka: butt-rock.

 

Porno names? Hey why not! I'm a fun-loving sexy kind of guy. Here goes ...

Try 1: Prematuro: The Quickest Gun North, South, East or West of the Pecos

(Ha ha! A gag name! I'll bet everyone gets that one! Good times! Now let me get the serious one ...)

Try 2: Bulgy McToughskin

(What? I wonder if this site making fun of me? It's common knowledge that I'd bust open a pair of Toughskins with my schlong quicker than you can hum When The Levee Breaks. No wait ... that's a seven-minute song, let me think of another metaphor, oh fuck it, try again ...)

Try 3: Richard the Limphearted

(Oh bullshit. Click ...)

Try 4: Garanimal Magnetism

(Huh? I don't even underst ... oh eat a candy bar out of my ass, porno name web site! No Garanimals made on this Earth could ever house my unit, well, maybe the ones for morbidly obese children, but you have to special order those! One ... last ... fucking ... time)

Try 5: Eunichwa

(Fuck off!! I don't need a web site to validate my penis!)

 

I'm Dickimus Maximus!

 

Well, you could always be Buck Wild.

 

Buck Futter! BUCK FUTTER!

 

His porn star name could be Kaz Tadano.