Weird Stuff You See ... Running Thread

Like one time, I see this guy one this stupid old-timey bicycle with the big wheel in front, so I figure, "We'll see about that!" So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and ...

 

Nowhere else to really put this, and it made me laugh, so...

Last night my wife and I went to watch my father-in-law's girlfriend's grandson play T-ball (it's as complicated as it sounds, trust me). Like most kids on the field, he had the attention span of a gnat. He seemed more interested in rolling around in the dirt than playing, except when someone hit the ball and he and eight other 4-year-olds converged on it with great vengeance and furious anger.

His team comes off the field and is due to bat. He spends most of the "inning" running around like a loon, and when it's his turn to bat, his mom has to chase him down and steer him towards the batting box. He puts his helmet on and takes an awkward couple swings as the coach puts the ball on the T.

And then, I kid you not, the kid points his aluminum bat towards centerfield. THE KID WAS CALLING HIS SHOT!!!! My wife, my father-in-law and I thought it was about the funniest thing we've ever seen. He hit a 100-hopper and was safe at first. Good times.

 

That's awesome.

 

Well, as I walked down my little dirt road yesterday, I saw a couple of my neighbors outside. They were trying to herd a rooster back into their house.

I stopped and helped, and it's quite a thing to herd poultry, for sure. It took awhile, but he finally gave up and went up to stairs to the house.

Come to think of it, I didn't hear him crowing this morning. He might have been dinner.

Of course, I live in a place where it's not uncommon to see a burro tied up at a store. But the rooster thing was new and amusing.

 

Have you ever looked at the back of $20 bill on weed?

 

$20 bills smoke weed?

 

Corollary to weird stuff but I once lived on sidewalk street bordering a forested country park and had a lovable docile smart dog sitting in the front yard one peaceful evening and an elderly fellow walked his yappy poodle down the sidewalk at sunset. The poodle barked a loud game. My dog stood up and responded. The old man launched into me. I have to admit I was cold in considering my options. I said a few words but then listened to his run. I knew the park like the back of my hand, and it was getting dark. He was nasty in his words and my cold self shut up and considered following him and his dog into the park. Even to this day I am shocked by my detached weighing of scales about following him into the dark park.

 

I work in the furniture department in a major retail chain. Last Christmas we got tons of gorgeous leather chair in, and of course our scumbag customers would just chill out in them.

One day I passed a guy sitting in one, except he wasn't just sitting. He was eating fries from McDonalds, had the soda by the side of the chair and was reading the paper. Right in the middle of the store.

 

When I was still living at home, we lived in a house next to an empty lot with a billboard in it. Sadly, it wasn't uncommon to find old, dirty pants, whiskey bottles and other assorted homeless paraphernalia behind the billboard. One night, though, I come home around midnight and there's a homeless guy sleeping on the front steps of our porch. I'm afraid to wake him up because, well, you never know. He could be drunk, crazy and armed, and that's not a good thing to startle. So I just step over him and go in the house, figuring he'll wake up before long and move along. Took him about 30 minutes and two more times stepping over him for him to finally do it.

 

If someone can top this (http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/51712/) -- a 29-page thread dedicated to Brad Renfro -- on the weird scale, then I need to see it.

 

I once saw one of those idiotic plastic nutsacks dangling from a tricked out Ford Festiva..... a TRICKED OUT FORD FESTIVA.

I also remember a time when I was walking out of my old apt in South Carolina. Directly ahead of me was a cat, which I decided to fuck with by making meowing noises. Behind the breezeway wall on the right, out of my field of vision whilst I was meowing, was a Latin dude working on the grounds. He looked at me like I ate a case of worms.