Wedding Etiquette Dilemna

The other way to limit the bar tab is to only serve beer, wine and champagne...

There's nothing worse than your distant cousin insisting that his screwdriver be made with Kettel One or Grey Goose...

 

Exactly. My wedding reception was at a VFW hall, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Including one of my wife's lawyer bosses throwing down over a grand to cover the cash bar (I was on first-job wages at the time, so ain't no way I was paying for the bar) for everyone.

To me, a wedding is a dictatorship. Do what the bride and groom want or don't go.

 

That would be my dream wedding. I soooo want to be married by Elvis.

 

Actually it's do what the bride wants. The groom's job during wedding prep is to smile, nod his head and say "that's a great idea honey."

On game day his only two jobs are to show up on time and not fuck his lines up. Weddings are all about the bride.

And before I get eviscerated by the ladies of SportsJournalists.com, I mean that in a good way.

 

I was single for about 80% of the many, many weddings my friends have had over the last 10 years. Every single one of them put "Plain Old Sportsed and Guest" on the invite, and believe me when I tell you, the capital P and S look beautiful in calligraphy.

It's just my opinion, and I realize I'm spending other people's money here, but it's douchy to not let your single friends invite a guest. Widowed grandmother? Fine. Spinster aunt? Fine. But not the young ones.

And you haven't even asked my opinion on dry weddings yet ...

 

Good Lord. Having been to a few, my policy is now dry wedding = Bubbler has to work.

 

My first wedding was with a JP in Virginia with two witnesses and an overnight stay in a motel room (we were both sailors and had virtually no money). My second wedding was with a JP in Texas and we had about 125 guests and had a stay in a resort hotel for one night, then five days down the Texas coast at a beach.

The first marriage was 9 years long and ended very amicably. The second was less than 5 years and didn't end as amicably.

I guess it proves how much you spend on your wedding isn't the important factor. It's what both sides put into the marriage that counts.  

 

If I am convinced to have a "real" wedding, it will be dry. Too many damned alcoholics in my family who aren't in recovery, and my grandmother's sure to start using the "n," "c," and whatever other obscene words she can think of.

Now if guests wanna smuggle in a flask . . . I didn't see it.

 

I read that column this morning and also got irrationally angry at the last commenter.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what this couple is doing.  Those who think otherwise are single.  

My wife and I met at work, where we had about 50 very good mutual friends.  For the 25 or so that were already married/seriously involved, their significant others were invited.  But the other 25 got only single invites.  There was no way way we could have afforded dates for the 25 single people, and to simply not invite the single people at all was just not an option.  Had to do what we had to do.

I think keeping the guest list inclusive yet affordable is the biggest headache with planning a wedding.  After ours, I told myself I would never ever get pissed at somebody because they didn't invite me to their wedding.  

 

I dunno ... for me, my second wedding wasn't all about the bride. It was about me, too, because I spent quite a bit of time being involved so that, 10 years from now, she could never throw it back in my face that all I did was show up and stay sober until it was time to remove the garter.
And y'know, I actually enjoyed it. The big cake we got was the one I suggested, the wedding dress she wore was one I found (although we mulled over other options for a while) and I helped with the guest lists and the invitations.

And believe me, my ex told me repeatedly she was glad to have the help.

 

Insisting on bring a date to a wedding when you're invited solo is in the same category as wondering why your three kids weren't invited as well, or insisting on bringing little Timmy's brother and sister when little Timmy is invited to a classmate's birthday party.

It never ceases to astound me how much people assume and take for granted. And have nerve.

My husband's cousin had a pretty fancy wedding. Another cousin was one of those "invite me, invite my kids" people. She insisted that if her kids weren't invited to this swank affair (at which they would have been bored silly anyway), she wouldn't come either.
Bride said "Good riddance. Who the hell do you think you are. We'll miss you."

At my wedding, there was a limit at my dad's golf club in terms of how many people we could squeeze in. That was actually merciful, because between the two of us and our families, we could easily have had 800 family and friends and work colleagues and cut the list down at that. But 175 was it.

And ALL the cousins on his side had to be invited. So the group of five from Michigan (two parents, three kids) come up with this one: the kids want to bring dates. Only one, by the way, has a steady. So, in theory, that's 8 people, an entire table, just for one tiny branch. They were real put out when we said no. I had to be the bad guy, even though I had very little to do with actually planning the event (I was on the road with my baseball team; I more or less just showed up on the day).
Like I'm not going to invite some of my closest, long-standing friends because little Sheila wants to bring some studmuffin? Nah.

There are considerations beyond money, although money is big. Mostly people forget that it's not their day, so whatever the bride and groom want should be good enough, no excuses necessary. I think they'd rather have 20 people they love at the wedding than 10 people they love and 10 people they may barely know.

P.S. The Big Family's gift, from the five of them, came in well under $100. Not the point, but it cost us about $1000 to feed and water them.

Thank God I'm never going through that again. ;D

 

This, people, is why Nevada marriage laws exist.

And don't give me that "all girls want a princess wedding and the guys just go along" crap. These days guys have wedding fantasies just as outlandish as girls do.