Wanted: Deadbeat parents

You're obviously too emotionally involved in the issue to have a reasoned discussion.

But for those that actually care to read what I wrote, you'll see that nowhere did I suggest sympathy for "deadbeat dads." I stated that they are overwhelmingly poor, which is a statement of fact, supported by data, not a value judgment.

 

What pisses me off is when a parent holds the kid hostage or uses them as an emotional pawn to get money. That's just wrong.

 

Yes, I suppose there is a degree of punishing the ex-spouse in a lot of these. I'd forgotten about that aspect. We should swap stories. My mom did a great job with his on her own. She had no college education and almost no work history. She's my hero. I mean, along with Gandhi and all. He's, like, second. She makes better food.

 

Actually, what pisses me off is when people think they're entitled to access to a child simply because they sent some money. My dad tried that, and not with my mom. He did it with me. It was an unspoken reality that I didn't money to eat or buy new clothing if I didn't visit with him.

 

But it's not so much of entitlement as it is a right. So many times, the jilted parent poisons a child's mind. It happens openly and subtly. That's wrong.

 

Where is this data? Link please?

What data? Do you have a link?

You've got some big stones to try an belittle someone who has clearly been through a shitty, shitty experience.

 

I'm not questioning, I'm inquiring, because I don't know your story. If a parent is paying child support, why shouldn't they be able to see the child? I'm not saying one is tied to the other, necessarily, but part of the court agreement for me is I get to see my son x number of days, and another part says I pay x number of dollars.

 

Yep. Same shit my dad said. But my mom wasn't there when I told the judge that I was afraid that my father would kill me and my sister. In fact, to this day, she has no idea I knew that much about him. The reality is that most parents actually shelter their kids from the truth with the hope that they'll have some semblance of a normal relationship with a spouse.

 

Let me introduce you to stepprincesscreole's father.

Owns his own business. A construction biz in Oklahoma. Makes a SHITLOAD of money. Always has these $30,000 pickup trucks when he sees his daughter, these pickups are about the nicest vehicles I've seen. He owns a five-acre ranch, complete with goats and horses. My girl comes back from her once-a-year visits (never gets cards on Valentine's Day, Easter, and hasn't spent Christmas time with him in three years now) bragging about how big her room is, how big the house is, how many goats and horses are there, how she gets to name the next pony, etc.

Yet, he pays only when he gets a phone call from the state. He sends in a month's worth of support every now and then, just to get them off his back. He gets paid in personal checks, and he has about three aliases. Taxes? Ha! He doesn't pay taxes, and in the odd chance he does file, he probably gets a hefty return. He knows the system. It's not hard to figure out.

To say nothing of my wife's best friend's daughter's father. Has never paid a cent of child support in her eight years. The guy has never spent time in jail. And he doesn't have aliases and ways around it. He's just a working guy in California who also has slipped through the system.

And to say nothing of the three or four other families I know in the same situation who rarely get a dime.

Tell me again how this is a crack-free system??

 

Tell her to name the next goat "rich asshole" after him.

 

Fill in the crack.. turn the MF in...IRS too...
Forensic accountants would love to know how he can afford all that with "no income"

 

Think we haven't tried? They track him down, he presents authentic ID that says he's not who they think he is.