Waiter, there's a cock in my soup

I think bubs just admitted to witnessing a felony.

 

Was your roomate Abner Louima and his buddies were the NYPD?

I have read some very strange stuff around here, but this is really disturbing.

 

Statute of limitations is up my friend!

 

I think that would fall under the category of "Take It To The Grave" had anything like that ever happened in my witness.

 

Have streaked?
Yes

Have I gotten drunk and wrestled or fought with friends?
Yes

Have I ever combined the two?
No, and I can't condone the behavior, let alone allowing to escalate to the level of anal probing via wooden spoon, plastic spatula, wire wisk or any device. Just put the kibosh on the anal probing, regardless of device used.

 

I'm not trying to condone it. I watched it in the spirit of a trainwreck.

It was like a ritual with these guys. A bizarre-ass homoerotic ritual, but it seemed totally normal to them. None of the rest of us in that house got it at all, but after a while, we watched (or didn't watch) with detached bemusement. There wasn't much else you could do.

I lost track of Mart. It's been almost 20 years ago now. He eventually dropped out of school.

Fascinating guy, though. He was second generation Estonian and his dad fought for the Estonian army in WWII against the Soviets who were allied with the Nazis. Mart's dad had no love for them, only for his nation's independence. When the Soviets rolled the Nazis back, he got out of Dodge and emigrated to the U.S.

As a result, his family had a deep hatred of all things Russian. One night, I was putting Russian dressing on a salad and I got read the riot act by Mart, saying the dressing sucked, etc. Which it kind of does, but that's beside the point.

We weren't getting along at the time (we didn't for most of the time I lived with him), so I blurted out that the only reason he was on my case was because he was a bigot who hated all things Russian. More words were exchanged and we eventually came to blows. It was quickly broken up without any harm done, but yeah, I got into a fight over Russian salad dressing.

Fun times!

 

I think a more appropriate retort might have been:
The only reason you're getting on my case is because your friends insert objects into your rectum yet you continue to associate with them.

 

Also, did you and he get naked for this Russian dressing fight?

 

I just assumed that was the case, Buck.

 

"Waiter! There's a cock in my soup!"

"Oh, shut up before I stick this wooden spoon up your ass!"{

 

That's how they roll in Estonia.

 

Love means never having to say that you sodomized your friend with a foreign object.