Waiter, there's a cock in my soup

Better than soup in your cock

 

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg might remake Dick in a Box now.

 

Their Dry Jerk seasoning is to die for.

Yep, Grace Foods is big-time Caribbean. (HQ in Miami, however.)

http://www.buygracefoods.com/site/index.cfm?CFID=16954723&CFTOKEN=e19be2b237db5ea7-1CCCFA41-B49E-C057-1F21A03F6AA184FC

 

What might they call their cream of chicken flavor?

 

if they make a commercial they definitely should use George Takei's Oh My.

 

I will definitely not have what she's having.

 

Goes great with this:

 

Apropos (maybe) ... this thread reminds me of some shenanigans in a house I lived in at Ball State my sophomore year.

One of my roommates, Mart, got piss drunk and passed out on our kitchen floor. He had a couple of buddies from his hometown visiting and they were absolutely ruthless in their treatment of him.

I don't know what his hometown's problem was, but when he or one of his buddies got drunk they got naked. I'm talking full bore man-on-man, drunken wrastlin' type of naked. They'd chase each other up our stairs quite literally tearing each other's clothes off. It was pretty fucked up to be honest.

Yet, it was a very odd kind of entertaining for the other three of us in the house. You knew some bizarre shit was going to happen when his buddies visited, be it conventional streaking, a full-on naked party in our basement, or the all-too-frequent free ballin' wrestling, which occasionally took place on our porch in sub-freezing temps.

So he passes out and his friends go to work. The first thing they did -- and why I'm posting this here -- is to pour some instant soup on his cock. Not cold soup ... just out of the microwave piping hot instant soup. Mart was three sheets to the wind, so he never woke up, but he rolled over in pain.

That left his ass exposed which gave those guys all kinds of options. A cookie was placed in his ass, liquid soap was poured everywhere (Ha, ha! It's jizz!), finally, the denoument was to take his wooden spoon and shove the handle up his ass.

Half-drunk myself, I just watched in some combination of awe, disgust and amusement. He never woke up and I'll never forget that wooden spoon planted in there and vibrating like a divining rod.

Boiiiiing!

And there we left him ... spoon in ass.

At some point in the early morning hours, the spoon fell out and he somehow crawled up to his bed.

The next day was the NFL conference championship game Sunday. He never saw the AFC Championship Game, which was played first, he rolled out of his bed at about 3:30 p.m. He was a big 49er fan and that was the year they played the Giants.

He strolls down the stairs in a foggy hangover and asks us all quite sincerely, "Did one of you guys fuck me in the ass?"

None of us said a word.

Five minutes later, "Man, I could swear that one of you fucked me in the ass. Did one of you get drunk and fuck me in the ass? I am so sore."

We held it together until halftime. Finally, someone spilled the beans when he was getting ready to re-use his wooden spoon.

As you might suspect, he was pissed. His mood not brightened when the Giants upset the Niners.

Turns out, it wasn't the spoon that made him sore, but it was the dried up liquid soap.

The spoon was not tossed. Mart would continue to use that spoon. Every time one of us was in the kitchen when he used it, we'd something to the effect of ...

"Uhhh, you do know that spoon's been up your ass, right?"

He'd get pissed and say so what. It's almost as if our making fun of him steeled his determination to use that ass spoon.

Now you know the rest of the story.

 

God, I forgot how we used to do that.

I miss those British-isms in our speech. We don't call a couch a "chesterfield" any more, and we call it a trapezoid instead of a "trapezium." I actually do lament these things. Get off my lawn.

 

This thread is awesome, gang. I knew there was a reason I pulled up SportsJournalists.com after 12 hours of getting my ass kicked at work.

And Bubs, great story, but if I'd seen that, I'd never use ANY wooden stirring spoon again.

 

There is so much wrong here I don't even know where to begin. But I do have to point out that he seemed OK with being ass fucked by a gang of drunks but mad they put a spoon in his butt. ..... OOOOOOOK.