Virginia Tech emotions

I've pretty much given up thinking about him. It was his lame way to show us how big his dick was, and if part of his plan was to have us fixate on him, then I'd prefer to not honor his request.

I wonder what would have happened if, on Sunday, he could have read this thread. Would it have changed his mind? If he meant for us to fear him, it didn't work - his only power came through the weapons he yielded. Would it not have changed his mind? Our disdain for him was nothing he didn't suspect already - society had it out for him, and we're no different.

I'm angry about a lot of things, but I'm not certain I know how to describe it all.

Most of all, I'm deeply, deeply saddened; I'm not certain if you'd have prevented a hypothetical to me that I could have predicted that I'd react how I have. But I've been here for seven years, and I start to think about the connections I have to that place. I know kids that have gone there, kids that are there and kids that are going there. One of our coaches wrestled there - who I deal with very often - and several others played football there. I know people on here who went there or have kids there. And I talk to them and read what they're writing, and I realize that Blacksburg is a lot closer than the four-hour drive it takes to get there.

I feel awful for all of the families and loved ones. There was a story a few days ago that one of the male victims was probably going to propose to his girlfriend in the coming days. That story very nearly left me in tears, and I really don't cry that often.

I feel particularly bad for the shooter's family. Unless they're somehow implicated in this - or maybe it's just that the kid was messed up from the get-go - I'd certainly change my tune. But on the assumption their innocent, I'm sure they loved their son greatly, warts and all. Now, their grief is compounded by the fact that they must grieve for their own son and 32 others, too. Where does their life go from here? They may never walk down another street and not hear a whisper. I cannot imagine the overwhelming guilt they must feel, rightly or wrongly.

Sorry for the rambling. I guess I had some pent-up shit.

 

The deceased are getting posthumous degrees from Tech. Not that it really matters, but it probably helps the families cope a little.

 

I'm betting not.

 

I'm like the majority of us who have seen this video: I would love nothing more than to have the chance to get this gutless, pathetic coward without a gun for about 5 minutes, which would be 3:30 too long. His fate should be eternal damnation as a fluffer for Hitler and Stalin in their porn video with Pol Pot and Idi Amin.

Watching that video nearly ruined my evening last night. I know there are reasons as to why he may have snapped, but there is no excuse to project his lowly, miserable existence and play judge, jury and executioner to 32 people whose only fault was to run across this bastard. I drive a 1998 Explorer, am looking for a full-time job and am single. By no means does that give me the urge to come anywhere close to what he did. The good thing about watching it was that it did lead me to go to church last night, which gave me some perspective and comfort. Between Iraq, the constant errors of the Bush administration, Imus and this loser, the last few weeks has been a gut-wrenching twist of lows in this country. No amount of no-hitters, NBA playoffs and triple OT NHL playoff games can escape that.

This measly bastard got what he wanted: attention and the chance to vent his frustrations. Like most jackoffs like him, he didn't have the balls to man up and face the music, so he took a gun and ended his life. That, next to the lives he took away, makes me the most angry. My hope is that the bulk of his "work" doesn't make the light of day; unfortunately in this YouTube day and age, I know I am pissing in the wind.

 

You might be right. But you know the parents will prominently hang those degrees somewhere at home. Good call by VaTech.

 

He blasts the world for not giving him a chance. From what I've read, he didn't give the world a chance because he apparently avoided communication or eye contact nearly all the time.

 

As a young guy, I wish we lived in the world my father was raised. Both of his parents were deat by age 14, he was the 9th or 10 kids, being shipped from older sibling to older sibling as a kid, changing schools all the time. He was dirt poor, and some of the siblings used the insurance and government money to raise him on themselves.

So, yeah, he had some issues. But you know what he did? He went out and fought people with his fists sometimes. I am a pacifist who hasn't thrown a punch at someone since middle school, so I can't even completely condone what he did. But you know what, my dad had a shitty, shitty youth, and he dealt with it without getting a gun and harming himself or someone else to death. He worked out most of his childhood issues, married my mother — one of the most wonderful people God ever created, in my biased opinion — and raised three good children who are contributing to society in some way.

This guy was weak in every way. Physically, psychologically, socially, he was weak. People tried to be nice to him. People tried to help him. Fuck him. It's not my place to say what will happen to him in the afterlife, but I refuse to believe he will ever be allowed comfortable surroundings. Whatever divine spirit out there is surely more forgiving and compassionate than most of us, which is good for him. But by taking the easy way out after making people suffer intense physical and emotional pain, some that will never go away, I feel no sympathy for this man right now.

I will eat crow if it turns out something legitimately awful happened to this guy, but I am beginning to lose all sympathy for social outcasts who act like this to get attention. The world isn't out to get you, fuckheads. Get a grip. Everyone has problems. Maybe his problems were legitimate, but maybe, just maybe, to quote my dad, "Someone should have kicked his ass anf taught him a lesson somewhere along the way. You want attention, here it is. I learned that when I was a kid."

 

Bump. Didn't want this one to fall off the front page.

Yesterday I was kind of out of character...both in real life and on this board. While my posts are often less than socially appropriate, my contributions are rarely antisocial. But yesterday I insulted a newbie and taunted Ragu for no significant reason. Last night, when I got home, I was cleaning a countertop when I knocked off a saucepan...

"DAMMIT!!!"

Whoa. Screaming over a saucepan on the floor? Not exactly a proportionate response. Something, I realized, was bothering me.

I've probably partaken of less of the VT shootings coverage than most people. I work in news, so I've heard and read a lot at work. I've avoided the issue at home. While I've been curious enough to find out the basics, I've tried to limit the amount of brainpower I've spent taking this event in.

But it's fucking with me. It's not typical of me to be aggressive on this message board...or scream at saucepans on the floor. This week has fucked with my head in very subtle ways, even though I've isolated myself from the story as much as someone who works in the news media can do.

I just pass this along to suggest the ugliness from this event and its aftermath is obvious on one hand, but very insidious on another. It makes you feel bad on a deep level. I'll try to do something with that bad feeling besides pass it along and make other people feel bad. Over the next few days, I encourage everyone to slow down a bit and take a deep breath if they're feeling out of sorts. If this post prevents one person from speaking harshly or being short-tempered in the coming days, then I won't have wasted the five or so minutes I spent typing this.

 

One of the victims, the German instructor, Christopher James "Jamie" Bishop, was one of my brother's closest friends and I met Bishop at my brother's wedding last summer.
I talked to my brother today, and some of the things he had to say seem fitting for this discussion ...

-- He said he wished he could feel the hatred some were feeling toward the shooter, but he is just sad, period. Sad about his friends and all the victims, sad this person felt he had to do this and sad it every occurred.
-- He also doesnt feel sorry for this loser either. He points out that he is 23 and CHOSE to be a loner on many accounts, so some of his misery was brought on by itself. Several people said he was short and putoffish with them and wouldn't let them get to know him. He said it is obvious this guy never met Jamie, because Jamie wouldve accepted him no matter how odd he was.
-- He also fears that the exposure the NBC tape got will give other nut jobs ideas about making tapes to get their words out. He also pointed out that there is nothing to learn from reading or watching this manifesto.

 

At a school that size, you have to want to be a loner.

 

I waver by the day between utter contempt of the sad sack loser and sympathy, but seeing him in the attack posture on the news last night is just too tough to get past. Before I saw that I'd been asking why couldn't one person in 26,000 be this dude's friend for a day, just one day.

Not no more.

 

I have agreed and sympathized with every point you've made until this one.

None of us can put ourselves in that kid's shoes ... of course, none of us really want to, either. Loneliness isn't something necessarily squashed by being around masses of humanity. In some cases, crowded areas can cause loner tendencies to be magnified.

Carry on.