US Plan to Wage New War to Save Innocent Life

Is it Syria? No. In fact, this new war won't add any additional stress to the US military.

But, it does have parallels to our action in Libya, where we are bombing Gaddafi's troops in order to protect the citizens of Eastern Libya.

So, who are we protecting? The spotted owl of course. And the plan is to shoot barred owls in order to protect them.

That's right, we've chosen sides on the Great Owl Wars of the Northwest:

Here's a picture of our new, owl enemy:

 

The barred owl is a despicable regime that uses rape as a tool of war:

 

Cost for this experiment: $22.5 million, per day. Just guessing but I bet I'm close.

 

If barred owls can mate with spotted owls, then the future is blobby owls, whether the Fish and Wildlife Service likes it or not.

 

There are rumors that France is arming the spotted owls. No confirmation yet.

 

I hear spotted owl tastes great breaded and fried.

 

Nah. Tastes like chicken.

 

Which tastes great breaded & fried.

 

Was waiting for that.

 

Actually tastes a lot like Bald Eagle.

 

Picturing barred owls going up to spotted owls and saying, "mind if we dance with your dates?"