US Army eases weight rules for enlistees

They've needed to do this for a long time.

 

I know this is an easy joke, but under the Army's old weight guidelines, Brad Pitt, yeah Brad Pitt, would have been considered obese.
All the new guidelines do is take into account body fat percentage, and that is a far more accurate measure of obesity than the weight tables.
But just remember the guy below was fat under the Army's old standards.

 

Hartman: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?
Gomer Pyle: Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
Hartman: A jelly doughnut?
Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: How did it get here?
Gomer Pyle: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Hartman: You are WRONG, because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle! AND WE LIKE IT! You didn't know that we changed the fucking rules, did you, Private Pyle? Listen numb nuts, didn't you know that we want you to be a much fatter fuck than you already are Pyle? I swear to the Lord above, Pyle, your brain must have creeped out of your mama's ass and stained the sheets. We want you to eat more, Private Pyle, not less.
Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Hartman: Then why did you only sneak one jelly doughnut into your foot locker, Private Pyle?
Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I wasn't that hungry, sir!
Hartman: Because you weren't hungry...
[turns and addresses rest of platoon]
Hartman: Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for not helping Private Pyle shanghai more than ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT into the barracks! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES!
[rest of recruits get in front-leaning-rest position, Hartman turns to Pyle]
Hartman: Open your mouth!
[shoves jelly doughnut into Pyle's mouth]
Hartman: They're payin' for it; YOU eat it! And you'll have another, Private Pyle! And thirds! I swear by God, Private Pyle, I will make you the fattest fuck in the Corps! Eat it, Private Pyle! You eat doughnuts like old people fuck!

 

You made him fat. We'll make him Army fat.

 

how do they still use body mass index? how about checking body fat?

 

I'm not sure about the joke, but that's not true. Brad Pitt is 5-11, 160. A 5-11 person in the Army is allowed 194 pounds.

The standards are here: www.usapa.army.mil/pdffiles/r600_9.pdf on page 4, table 3-1.

If you don't meet these guidelines, then (for males) your body fat content is checked (not BMI). The neck and abdomen are measured and .. well, it's on page 17. You can read it.

 

Are they accepting anemic asthmatics with terrible near-sighted vision, including an astigmatism that prevents truly clear vision yet?

 

Yeah, but the blonde moment index would disqualify you

 

Good news! I still meet the Army's height/weight requirements. At least I have a career to fall back on! ;D