Upscale restaurants: Not "stoner-friendly"

writing irish · Nov 12, 2008

I think that line must have stuck in my head from some conversation in college. I've always meant to read more Updike.

Frank_Ridgeway · Nov 12, 2008

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.

KYSportsWriter · Nov 12, 2008

Going to a restaurant with someone who's stoned out of their mind is awesome.

Went with a friend to a Mexican restaurant where we met up with a few others. Apparently, one guy had just bought some stuff and was gone by the time the other group got there.

Guy couldn't walk straight and had to be helped to his seat. The restaurant had paintings of a war scene, and the dude kept saying the Mexicans were coming after him.

After 5 minutes of this, a manager kicks us out.

budcrew08 · Nov 12, 2008

wi: Your story will either induce people to try weed to see what happened or scare the living shit out of them... I think if I ever did that and had those kind of reactions, I'd probably end up killing myself jumping off a roof or something.

Tommy_Dreamer · Nov 12, 2008

buckweaver said:

TTIWWOP.
Click to expand...

TTIWWO ... Pot

and

wi: great story and your imagery and choice of words was hilarious.

Tom Petty · Nov 12, 2008

Frank_Ridgeway said:

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.
Click to expand...

those are better ... on weed.

editorhoo · Nov 12, 2008

writing irish said:

I don't smoke much ganja these days. Somewhere down the line, I became justifiably horrified of doing things that are very illegal. That's not to say I won't do it, but my days of being casual about that practice are behind me, now.

Well, after a very long period of abstinence from the herb, I began dating a stoner recently. She's adorable- little vintage skirts, vaguely Gothic look, tits like scoops of ice cream and so forth. And recently we went to one of Cowshitistan's fine Italian eating establishments while high as fucking Afghani kites. We are talking ripped to the tits. I have no idea how we found our way there. We walked, of course. For all I know, we probably left the house in search of finding a centuries-old copy of Rumi's poems that had been sitting in a cedarwood chest in Damascus for centuries before the French took the document from its Ottoman owners and somehow lost it in the chaos of the Druze Revolt of 1925. We started to do that, but ended up at a restaurant. It was that kind of stuff.

So there we are, she and I. Just. Fucking. Shredded. Blazed as all get out and probably smelling like Bob Marley's favorite denim jacket. I think I spent the first 20 minutes or so in the restaurant just admiring the font they used on the menu. I mean, we're relaxing, not too worried about time, you know? So this malevolent, porcine, Baptist-looking waitress starts giving us the evil eye. If only she knew how scary she looked in super-3D. Her eyes were two little dumb marbles of hatred. And she's coming up with all kinds of snarky, passive-aggressive shit like, "Here's y'all's FIFTH basket of complimentary bread." Well fuck, it's free with the meal, right? Mind you, it's a very light kind of Italian bread, the kind with massive holes in the slices and little sesame seeds that you can't taste but fall all over the table. Then, you organize the sesame seeds into little groups. Odd numbers, even numbers. You can make little constellations and patterns with the sesame seeds. Look, honey, this is Orion. See his belt? OK, now I'm going to make a map of Micronesia with these sesame seeds. No baby, a map of Micronesia, not Hawaii. Heh heh. I know you love it when I make a map of Hawaii. I love it, too. Hey, did we order yet?

Anyway, I can't remember how the rest of the evening went, not in detail anyway. I'm pretty sure I went for the eggplant and she just got some ziti with marinara. But I could not help but notice the utter disgust emanating from our waitress. Like rays of light from some sun, these rays of disgust from the server. Not a bright sun, but a dull sun...a red giant. A big, lumbering orb of hate. All because my lady and I were both lit up like Mexican Christmas trees. So what's with the 'tude? If you can't get blazed as all hell and go eat overpriced Italian food while playing tabletop football with lemon wedges and commenting on the waitress' camel toe, then I'm thinking that the terrorists have won.
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The most entertaining read I've had in months.

buckweaver · Nov 12, 2008

Tom Petty said:

Frank_Ridgeway said:

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.
Click to expand...

those are better ... on weed.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Jon Stewart.

Tom Petty · Nov 12, 2008

buckweaver said:

Tom Petty said:

Frank_Ridgeway said:

I liked all the Rabbit novels, but Rabbit Redux was my favorite. Rabbit hanging out with Black Panther types in a bar in the 'hood in Brewer.
Click to expand...

those are better ... on weed.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Jon Stewart.
Click to expand...

stewart is better, wait for it, on weed.

Trey Beamon · Nov 12, 2008

I haven't smoked up in years.

That said, tell me more about the waitress' camel toe.

Fenian_Bastard · Nov 12, 2008

wi --
Allow me, when I stop laughing at your post, to regale you with Tales Of Stoned Bowling, Wisconsin In the '70's Edition some time.

bigpern23 · Dec 15, 2014

Outing Alert! F_B is:

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Upscale restaurants: Not "stoner-friendly"

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Upscale restaurants: Not "stoner-friendly"

writing irish Active Member

Frank_Ridgeway Well-Known Member

KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

budcrew08 Active Member

Tommy_Dreamer Well-Known Member

Tom Petty Guest

editorhoo Member

buckweaver Active Member

Tom Petty Guest

Trey Beamon Active Member

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bigpern23 Well-Known Member

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