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uh......excuse me sirmaam

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Chef2, Apr 6, 2010.

  1. Chef2

    Chef2 Well-Known Member

    So I'm at a conveniece store yesterday.

    Take my stuff to the counter, and there is this lady at the counter about 5'1 and weighing in (I'm guessing) at a biscuit shy of 300 lbs.

    She has a flat top hair cut. She has earrings in her eyebrow. She has full tattoo sleeves on both arms. She has some sort of piercing in (as God is my witness, this is true.) her throat. Yes, her fucking throat.

    Oh.

    She had a nametag on.

    Fred

    I just about lost it.
     
  2. Oggiedoggie

    Oggiedoggie Well-Known Member

    Did you ask if it had anything to do with a 12-pack of Coors and hydrogen peroxide?
     
  3. Chef2

    Chef2 Well-Known Member

    did not.
     
  4. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I thought this thread was about Britney Griner.
     
  5. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Kansas is becoming more and more liberal.
     
  6. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    My cousin Roy married a woman named Fred.

    They slept in twin beds, like Rob and Laura Petrie.
     
  7. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    In a similar vein, I never ask pregnant women about their pregnancy unless they bring it up. I'm afraid to ask them, "So when are you due?" only to find out that they are just fat.

    That happened to my wife at my class reunion. One of my classmates asked her (who does have a big belly) when she was due. My wife was actually pretty cool with it.
     
  8. txsportsscribe

    txsportsscribe Active Member

    so did you get her number or what?
     
  9. zagoshe

    zagoshe Well-Known Member

    Fixed
     
  10. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    So reminds me of a story from college.

    One of the guys from my dorm floor on first year moved back to his small town (about 30 miles from campus) after two years to marry his high school sweetheart. He kept going to school, just night classes and taking his time till graduating about 2-3 years behind the rest of us.

    Anyway, one of the guys from the original dorm floor is getting married, and by this time I'm living in an apartment with one of the other friends from the dorm floor.

    Paul (the married guy) and and his wife show up at our apartment to pick my roommate up for the wedding, and his wife is at least 30 pounds up from when we were at their wedding. I'm sitting at the table and I'm sure she has to be pregnant, but I'm too smart to say anything.

    Turns out she isn't pregnant, just has put on about 30 pounds since getting married. I was so glad I didn't say anything.
     
  11. jlee

    jlee Active Member

    I'd always do her what.
     
  12. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Pass, thanks.
     
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