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U-20 World Cup column

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by verbalkint, Jul 12, 2007.

  1. verbalkint

    verbalkint Member

    (on the suggestion of this forum's moderator)

    Just thought I'd offer my most recent blog post. I'm writing about the U-20 World Cup, in particular the African teams that made the round of 16.


    By the way, one of those teams -- Gambia -- lost today, but that does very little to hurt my point. Anyway, I wish this angle was taken more often on African sports stories. In a lot of cases, it's pretty impressive that you made it to the building.

    I'll take any feedback here, or at verbal_kint_187@hotmail.com. And also I'd be interested in getting tipped to any other stories -- or books that run along these lines.


    - Mike
  2. Norrin Radd

    Norrin Radd New Member

    Solid effort, bonus points for approaching it from an uncommon angle.

    Welcome. Join us on the soccer thread.
  3. friend of the friendless

    friend of the friendless Active Member


    The writing measured as blogstuff is better than average. A couple of points.

    1. The line about "not being up on your 'ias'" ... or whatever. Unnecessary. Foolish. Gratuitous. Lose it. No need to call attention to your ignorance of world geography. It's insulting your reader--who actually might be up on his "ias" or whatever. Don't pander to idiots. And if you have an inner idiot, gag him.

    2. The "Settle in ..." lead serves as an admission that this is likely long-winded. Lead, as you would with a newspaper story or a magazine piece, with strong cards that will compel the reader to keep reading. Don't ask the reader to read, make him.

    3. Not a technical criticism per se. I wouldn't have minded more soccer/football/futbol. I have treaded this turf before years back and what was always interesting to me was the disconnect between the performance of Ghana at u-17 and u-20 (championships and medals) and the nation's lack of success--even in African competition. I found it pretty easy to contact Ghana's football federation, talked to their top man about two minutes after getting the #. I don't think that it would have hurt you to tried to email a couple of people (in football federation, national papers, whatever) for their reaction to what these performances might mean to national programs/African football. I don't know--maybe I'm expecting too much.

    YHS, etc
  4. jgmacg

    jgmacg Guest


    Thanks for posting with us.

    I think FotF addresses some salient points. I'd add a couple notes.

    - Be sure to copy-check your posts for small errors before they go up, i.e., "close" instead of the correct "closely." And "Porugal" for "Portugal." Make it a habit to wait a few minutes after you finish a piece to give it one last re-reading before posting.

    - More important I think, is this: I'd ask what this piece is about. What's the purpose and theme of it, both for you and the reader? Is it a primer on African history? Or the history of African soccer? Is it about soccer or politics or injustice or humanity's endless fall from grace? If it's about all those things, it needs to be a little more tightly woven, I think.

    Just some stuff to consider.

    Thanks again for sharing your work with us.
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