Two Virginia Tech students might have done something horrible to a local girl

Before his show got totally awful, Adam Carolla and Norm MacDonald did a reenactment of the VanderSloot thing, which was similarly awful but had a friend disposing the body, allegedly:

 

We are rating dead teenage girls now?

 

Hey, bumble nuts, that's the accomplice, not the victim.

 

It says he was the state champion in the 3,200 and a member of the VaTech cross country team.

 

Any girl who will help you dispose of a body is a keeper.

 

Well, only if she remains silent. If not, you'll have a second body to deal with.

Much better to do it yourself:

 

That's awful chipper!

 

My guess is this guy's status as a stellar student and athlete may help explain why he did it. I suspect he had a fling with her, then realized an emotional 13 year old would never be able to keep quiet about it, so he figured he had to find a way to shut her up to protect his fabulous future.

 

Thanks, porky. Did you find a girdle?

 

That's an awful thin limb your climbing out on, Stoney.

 

This turn is fabulous. Somehow, at some point, you got it into your head that I'm obese, and you keep going to that well. Spoiler alert: I'm not. In fact, you would pop both hamstrings, your microscopic nutsack, and both tear ducts if you tried to keep pace with me in the gym or on the trails. I'm sure the big and tall caucus here appreciates the punch lines, though.

 

This is from the mom:

It was on social media where Nicole may have met Eisenhauer recently, Weeks said police told her. "That's all I know," she said. "It was some off-the-wall site I never heard of."

All right, now back to Dick vs. Riptide.