Trouble with a nephew

Yeah - can we have pictures of the mom?

 

I felt in some way it was my fault. I told my cousin I'd get his kid something else and just let my nephew keep the phone.
It's not that I don't like the kid or his mother, my sister-in-law, but sometimes do you really have to just sort of say when the kid does stuff like that, OK, you win, I lose?
When he comes over my place, he often goes near the TV, pressing buttons on the cable box, the DVD, player, etc., messing up the TV, turning it off, getting it on a different channel so the cable doesn't come in, etc. I guess at that age, buttons are there to push. We tell him "no, get away," all the time and he just ignores us and carries on.
I'm still recovering from arm surgery so I can't just pull him away from the TV.

 

Smallpotatoes,

Have you ever heard the phrase "Terrible Twos"?

It's real. It's very real. And guess what? You were like that when you were two.

It's called being two.

 

I have a 2-year-old. I went over to my friend's house a couple weeks ago to watch a football game. It took about five minutes before my child - who loves pushing buttons - realized how to turn off the TV on the cable box. He did it about 10 times, and everyone had a laugh each time, because it's funny to watch kids do stuff like that, even though it's annoying. After he got done with that, he went over and started pulling all of my friend's DVDs from the DVD shelves. Every one of them was on the floor. I had the same choice your sister-in-law had: (1) Battle him tooth and nail, and incite the nuclear meltdown that would interrupt everyone; or (2) Just let him keep himself occupied. I chose (2). Afterward, I started to put the DVDs back, and my friend said, "What the hell are you doing? Just leave them there. We'll clean up later. We know what it's like!"

Do you have children of your own? It is easy to view it from the outside looking in and think that it is easy to just control every move your children make, but they have minds of their own. That's probably the most startling thing your realize as a new parent. I used to think that "Frankenstein" was an allegory for science spinning out of control. Now I think it's an allegory for parenthood.

I know little kids can be annoying, but try to have some empathy for the parents. It is really trying to raise little ones. If your sister-in-law let him flip out, she probably was afraid that people would have thought she was a mean mom - or that the tantrum was somehow the result of poor parenting. When you're a parent, you get used to people judging every single thing that occurs. So you just try to do your best, realizing that whatever option you take, someone is going to be judging you harshly.

 

This.

I have two nieces that I love with all my heart. The oldest is 4 1/2. The youngest is almost 2.
The 4 1/2 year old was sullen, moody & selfish at 2. Now? She smiles, sings, reads, is curious about everything, and is a very happy--and easy to deal with--child.

The almost 2 year old is adorable, extremely curious about everything, gets into everything, throws a tantrum when we keep her from anything (which we mainly only do for safety reasons) and is selfish.

I could get mad at that...but then she can't put together a complete sentence, so there's no way she'll know why I'm mad or understand--let alone care--what she did to make me mad.

She's barely 2 years old. It will be different when she's four.

 

A show of hands for everyone who thought the nephew was demanding a full-page spread on JV wrestling.

 

The only problem is with the mother, who should have taken the toy from her son and made sure the intended recipient opened it.

Had I seen the mother intervene, I would have approached the mother while she was opening it and requested she let me have it so I could give it to the birthday girl.

 

Aside from not giving the kid a Christmas gift, is there any other way I could let my sister-in-law know that that was not right?

 

Not your place to let her know it wasn't right.

It is reasonable for you to let her know it bothered you. Let her know that you understand that it's hard to control a kid that age, but you were disappointed that you weren't able to see the child you bought the present for open it.

Hopefully you'll get an apology and that will make you feel better about the whole thing.

 

Yeah, tell her you thought she was wrong.
Don't hold it against a kid who's too little to know better.

 

No, especially not now, all these weeks later.

I honestly think that you have overreacted a little bit to what she did. For all you know, the 1-year-old's parent told her, "Seriously, let him play with it if he wants. It's all good."

 

I know you are just trying to be funny here, but I have several gay friends and strong acquaintances, and I don't know one of them who would not love to go to a ballgame. And I'm not just referring to the WNBA fans, but gay men. Our entire fantasy football league got its ass handed to it by one of the two gay men in it this year.

OK, back on track.