"Travels with the Hoff"

The Hoff is quickly challenging Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton for the title of Most Ridiculous Pseudo-Celebrity. There are enough laughs in this nine-paragraph wire brief to keep Leno's joke writers in business for weeks.


NEW YORK (AP) — David (the Hoff) Hasselhoff saw his star rise again as a judge on NBC’s America’s Got Talent, produced by pal Simon Cowell. Still, he says he might not return for another season.

“I don’t know,” Hasselhoff tells Newsweek magazine in its July 31 issue. “This is not my cup of tea. I signed on for one season, and Simon Cowell conned me into it: `Here’s a lot of money,’ and it’s like The Gong Show.

“I’m trying to get on a sitcom or maybe even my own show, Travels With the Hoff.”

The 54-year-old actor, who played lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on Baywatch for 11 years, is also writing his memoirs.

“It’s about growing up since I was seven and realizing a dream,” he tells the magazine. “But when I was out trying to save the world, I forgot to save myself.”

Hasselhoff says he sliced four tendons and an artery in his right arm last month in an accident in London. He was shaving when he hit his head on a lamp and it broke.

“I guess the hotel was built for short people,” he says. “I lifted my head, and broke the lamp. One piece sliced my hand like beef. So I went into Mitch Buchannon rescue mode, `What’s the number for 911 in London?’ ”

He was also the subject of another London snafu. Earlier this month, there were press reports that an intoxicated Hasselhoff had to be removed from the All England Club, which presents the Wimbledon tennis championships.

“The tabloids make so much stuff up,” he says. “I was at Wimbledon, and they said I was escorted out drunk. ... Absolutely not. I don’t drink anymore.”

 

As I've said once before, the irony of "The Hoff" holding down a job in which he gets decide whether or not someone else has talent is simply off the charts.

And it's also quite comical. I watch at least a few minutes of the America's Got Talent show each week just to see Hoff make a complete ass of himself. He never fails to disappoint.

Last week's highlight: Hoff wearing a t-shirt that read: "Don't Hassle The Hoff"

 

Outstanding.

Particularly enjoyed this: David has transcended the typical shoebox definitions of "terrible actor" or "shrill, mule-on-fire shrieking singer"

 

This was the best part:

Translation: I haven't had a drink since I got so wasted at Wimbledon that I was escorted out.