Transitioning to family life

Absolutely... Another way to man up is to take the baby and tell your wife to get out of the house for a few hours so she can do whatever she wants to.

 

If you choose this route, just be sure to air out the kid's clothes before you go home.

 

Yet another instance in which having no friends comes in handy. Easy transition.

 

Some single sorts already understand. Either because friends got married and had children earlier in life or because of other family commitments. Or both.

The "man up" thing is a childish thing to say to another person. Period. If they don't understand and these are actually to whom you're speaking, I'm not sure you're going to be able to explain your situation in words that the other party will understand. To boot, you don't owe anyone an explanation in the first place.

 

If my younger brother ever told me, even joking, to "man up" ... well, it would never happen. Ever.

One of the perks of being the MUCH older brother.

 

I was one of those single guys who did not understand why my "married with kids" buddies could not come out at least maybe one night a month.

As soon as my daughter arrived 3 years ago everything made sense. I think on one of the threads on here I even took some good natured grief because I said that I wished I had made a bigger deal out of it whem my buddies' kids were born.

 

Thought this was interesting in re: this discussion.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14880055

 

That's just it ... You can't, don't and won't understand until it happens to you.
No matter how much you tell someone having a child will change everything it never quite sinks in until it happens.

 

Obviously, I don't have any first hand experience to draw from regarding myself, but I do remember that my father told me stories of his rebellious teenage years. He'd call his mother "Lady", he began smoking at 14 or 15, he took the family car for a joy ride until his neighbor caught him and told his mother, etc.

Just before he turned 19, I was born. By all accounts I can remember, that whole rebellious thing went out the window. He definitely learned the Death Glare from his mother because I was its recipient a number of times. He definitely always has had that "must protect my son" gene and never let it go, even when I've felt I could handle something thrown my way.

 

When my wife got pregnant, I called my cousin and asked him what I was in for... He said, "About three weeks after that kid is born you will have completely forgotten what your life was like before they arrived."

That really seemed to sum it up for me.

 

The good news is that as the kids get older and a bit more self reliant, you can resume your prior life in some respects by taking a bit more time for yourself without the house crashing down. My kids are now 10 & 12 and I have started playing tennis, softball and more golf now.

 

One thing that has been tough on my wife has been the difficulty in keeping up with any housework. She's a full-time working mom, and we try to keep up, but it's tough. We get the place neat and clean, and within five or 10 minutes, it's like Godzilla came through. Very, very difficult. And she beats herself up over it a lot, because she thinks that other women are able to keep things neat and tidy and she isn't.