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Too much...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mudduck, Oct 1, 2009.

  1. mudduck

    mudduck New Member

    I'm overwhelmed.

    Not the "ohmigosh, I'm gonna jump off a bridge" type overwhelmed.

    But the "too much going on and I need to run away" overwhelmed. Or "stop the world and let me off" overwhelmed.

    I have a spouse dealing with major health problems (chronic, at times debilitating and not going to get better), two jobs, more family obligations and people always seeming to want a part of me.

    "Can you do this?" "Can you do that?"

    Oh sure, I've learned to say no. Did that a long time ago.

    They keep asking anyway.

    There have been times over the last couple months I have promised a friend here, a friend there that I would do something, then failed to follow through. That isn't me and I not only hate myself for it, I feel horrible for letting them down. Two I have felt so ashamed I'm not even sure how to apologize, which isn't like me, either.

    People seem to think I'm so organized, so together. "Oh, you handle everything so well!"

    They haven't seen the chaos under that so-called smooth veneer. Organized? With it? Not even close.

    And I'm not even sure why I'm posting this right now. Whining, pissing and moaning is not my style. Maybe I just want to know I'm not the only one out there who feels smothered by all life's demands at times.

    (And yes, I am escaping for the weekend, but - the majority of the weekend is filled with obligations.)
  2. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Offering a "hang in there" seems so inadequate. But that's pretty much all I got.

    I'm a firm believer in the idea that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle.
  3. Gomer

    Gomer Active Member

    First off, I'm sorry to hear about it. Second, you're far from alone. I'm sure many folks here know exactly what you're going through, myself included.

    Admitting you're in trouble is half the battle. For the next little while, you need to find time to focus on yourself, and perhaps to seek help to do so. Maybe that's soliciting advice here, maybe it's a trip to a psychologist, maybe it's something else. I don't know.

    Prioritize. Stop making promises you might not be able to keep. Your friends won't think any less of you if you put yourself first.

    Good luck.
  4. sportsguydave

    sportsguydave Active Member

    All I can say is I agree with Tony ... not much I can add but "If you're going through hell ... keep on going."

    Do something for yourself ... anything, even if it's just a movie or a ballgame or a burger ... and don't feel one dang bit sorry about it.

    Take care.
  5. DirtyDeeds

    DirtyDeeds Guest

    This is good advice. And focus on yourself and your spouse first. I don't know your family situation, but your friends should be able to take care of themselves. Beyond that, just do the best you can.
  6. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    I went through a period in my life where I was a sucky friend. Made promises I couldn't keep, backed out of get-togethers, etc. I, too, was appalled at my actions, because I had never been that way before, but I was in a bad situation.

    I recently found a friend from that period on Facebook, and I apologized to her. Didn't make any promises about the future of our relationship, just apologized for my behavior (six years later) and thanked her for being a friend to me during those times. She was completely understanding.

    I bet if you leveled with some of your friends or associates, they would be understanding as well.
  7. AMacIsaac

    AMacIsaac Guest

    Yes, friends can take care of themselves.

    I'm not so much telling you as reminding myself. I tend to shoulder their issues, letting my own fall to the wayside, and then sometimes life feels like a train with no brakes hurtling toward a canyon and a broken bridge.

    You have to take some time for yourself and tend to your own needs. You can lend an ear to your friends, give a helping hand when you can, but you need you more than they do.
  8. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    My advice to you is to start drinking heavily


    Hoping a little humor helps start your day.

    Hoping for the best for you and I'll offer the following:

    Take a deep breath. Often. Try to, even if just for a moment, relax and not let things overwhelm you.

    Don't stress yourself out. Stress and worry only makes the situation worse. Know that you're one person with 24 hours in a day to work with--you can only do so much.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  9. RickStain

    RickStain Well-Known Member

    I've always found that when I feel that way, it's really nice to give myself something to look forward to. Usually a trip of some kind.
  10. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    Embrace imperfection. It's your friend. And whoever said the magic word "prioritize" is right and your health is your top priority because you can't help anyone else, including your immediate family, if you blow your engine.

    Find ways to streamline your life and take pleasure in the little things we tend to overlook. I find various forms of exercise -- from strenuous lifting to simple, peaceful yoga and stretching -- to be extremely helpful in energizing both mind and body. Eat well, too, and ease back on alcohol, sugar and caffeine.

    Good luck.
  11. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Active Member

    The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

    Step aside if only for a few minutes. Deep breaths. Think before committing to anything else. Handle the stuff already there, and don't even think about taking on more.

    With the existing stuff, start with the small things, the things which you can control or come closest to controlling. Those little accomplishments pile up, allowing you to not only better tackle the bigger tasks psychologically, but also with a clearer mind.

    Take care ...
  12. finishthehat

    finishthehat Active Member

    Friends would understand, right? Maybe acquaintences wouldn't, but a true friend would. And probably offer to help you out.
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