Today's Top 10: Top TV Pitchmen

It's just like a mini-mall.

 

Dick Butkus should make it for the Qwik-Cook Grill alone.

"It uses newspaper, which is made out of wood, so you get that cooked-over-wood taste!"

 

Chef Tony also probably merits consideration. I mean, he's pitched Brown & Crisp Bags, Country Fair Funnel Cake Kit, the Easy Iron, the Kitchen Wizard Slicer, MicroSmart, Mighty Pro Grill, Miracle Blade 3, My Rotisserie, Pasta Express, Rotato Express, Smart Lidz, Smartware, Speed Bits, Ultimate Chopper, and WonderCooker, and I have no idea what any of them are. Yet he's somehow still doing this. People who watch are probably concentrating too much on his costume:



And 93D, I had forgotten about that commercial. Hysterical. We're talkin' 'bout flea markets.

 

Has to be on the list. Seriously.

 

I LOVE CHEF TONY!!!

I was always intrigued by the brown n' crisp bags.

 

First off, Jack LaLanne has to be here for his juicer.

Also, this lady, Cathy Mitchell, who is on like 27 informercials right now.

 

Including the GT Express, and she makes something called Stuffed Soup. Stuffed.......soup? Yikes.

 

I almost used the Dennis Miller joke about Victor Kiam and Lisa Olson.

"I liked Zeke Mowatt's penis so much, I bought the team!"

 

"You're going to love my nuts."

 

Billy Mays looks like a poor man's Al Borland.